Be the good in the world

What in the world are we doing to this wonderful world that God gave to us to enjoy and care for? What are we doing to the human race?

There is far too much conflict. Our political system grows more toxic each day. Each political party seems to outdo the other(s) in undermining opposing beliefs and agendas.

We see intensive anger at others who have opinions that are in contrast to our own. We see it frequently on social media, especially Twitter and Facebook. It’s all over the internet on sites with political or social agendas. It’s not just sharing civil opinions – it’s bashing anyone in opposition. Many times the anger and coarseness of the attacks rival or exceed what is being attacked.

Athletes and celebrities are emboldened by their popularity over what they do, then believe everyone should pay attention to what they believe. Throwing a football or singing a song does not automatically give them social or political prestige in my mind.

The church is no longer the safe haven many of us always thought it to be. The clergy sex abuse scandal is beyond comprehension. Some of the people who we most expect to protect people have abused and exploited those who are young and innocent. Through it all, lives are ruined and trust is destroyed.

Too many people already have abandoned the church and its teachings and put their focus on the present with no concern about the future.

We have turned away from basic decency and civility in far too many settings. Our language has become so coarse that many people no longer flinch when they hear foul language in public.

There is too little respect, tolerance, sensitivity, compassion and charity.

Families are at odds, often over minor disagreements that grow into major conflicts that may never be mended.

We also are angry in our workplaces and on the roads. 

Instead of working together for success, too often we work against each other. 

In spite of recent laws, people continue to text and drive. Some hold up traffic and believe what they are doing is far more important than what others may need to do. Others have the mistaken notion that they can control a car and focus on their phone at the same time. 

Some drivers become aggressive when they need to be somewhere quickly or when others get in their way. At the least, our travel is stressful. At the most, it becomes dangerous. And all to gain, perhaps, a minute or two.

We don’t care enough about the future of our society or our planet. We saddle our children’s future with public debt and toxic air. Our government spends money it doesn’t have, and we continue to re-elect those who make those decisions.

There are many threats to our atmosphere, including volcanos and fires, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore the negative contributions by humans. Temperatures are rising, and the ice caps are melting. 

There is nothing more valuable than life, yet too often we fail to consider the impact of losing it. Some people believe it is their right to sweep away life that might inconvenience, annoy or anger them, even though it is not their own life to control. Somewhere along the line they have come to believe they can be God.

The problems aren’t everywhere, but they are much too prevalent.

There is one way to fix all of this mess. Each one of us has to determine and commit to be a better example and to stop tolerating the breakdown of civilized society.

I believe there still is time. And there is hope. But every day we slide deeper into this destructive hole. One day God will decide He has seen enough. It happened before, only this time He may do more than just wash the bad away. Unless, of course, we destroy the world before He is ready.

It’s not about judging people and telling them how to live, it’s about showing others how to live through the way we live our own lives.

Lately I’ve been fascinated by the phrase “Believe there is good in the world.” I wish I knew the source of it, but when there are words so wise, sometimes it’s more important that they be shared than attributed. I first saw the phrase on a T-shirt. It’s also very popular on plaques and pictures.

More important than that phrase is the one that is found within it: “Be the good in the world.”

That’s where it starts. It’s not too late.

BElieve THEre is GOOD in the world

Don't be faked out about fake news

Fake news does exist, but how some people define fake news is more fake than what they call fake news. It isn’t fake simply because we don’t like it. In a few words, fake news is information that can’t be trusted.

Last week I attended an important program presented by the Berks County Community Foundation, “Consider it: “Do you hear what I hear? Navigating the media maze in the era of fake news.” The five the panelists shared some interesting thoughts about news and the future of media. Most of it was from an academic perspective. 

As an insider in the newspaper world, many times the perspective of a journalist is different than that of observers. There’s always the risk of insiders being defensive when their work is evaluated or scrutinized. 

Now, as a retired newspaper editor, I have a view from both inside and outside. My opinion hasn’t changed: Newspapers – and the media in general – aren’t perfect, but most of them do a good job of news coverage, and what they do is essential if we are to protect and retain the freedoms and way of life we value in our society.

Fake news isn’t information we disagree with or don’t like. Fake news is what is inaccurate, incomplete, biased and unsupported by facts.

Sometimes the truth hurts. Lies hurt all of the time. 

I still believe most community newspapers are credible. So are most national papers, although some of them seem to lean left (mostly) or right with coverage of selected stories. When they allow even a hint of their opinions to creep into their hard news coverage, they risk their credibility. 

Social media is where most fake news exists, in my opinion, but there also are established websites that have clear agendas that they push by distorting or omitting facts.

A free press, however, remains one of the most important elements of our society and form of government, whether or not you like what is written. You have the choice to read (or watch) or not on particular subjects. But it’s important that you don’t stop reading at all.

I wrote the following column almost a year ago, several months before I retired as editor of the Reading Eagle. I would write the same things today.

YOU MAY NOT MISS REAL NEWS UNTIL IT’S GONE

JONI MITCHELL sang about it, and many of us have repeated it: “Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” 

Sometimes we take important things for granted. We assume they always will be there. It’s true about our jobs, our health and special people in our lives. 

It also is true about journalism and the freedoms that journalism protects. 

Skeptics will scoff, but there is nothing more essential than freedom of the press when it comes to protecting all of the other freedoms we cherish and enjoy in this great nation. 

About a week ago, I heard Ken Paulson, president of the First Amendment Center and former editor-in-chief of USA Today, talk about the importance of journalism. But he was preaching to the choir. The audience was a group of newspaper executives, most of whom already understand the significance of legitimate journalism. 

So now I’m preaching to the congregation. 

If we lose or weaken our press, the decline of most other freedoms will follow. That will include, in addition to freedom of the press, the other four freedoms guaranteed in the First Amendment – religion, speech, assembly and petitioning the government for a redress of grievances. It will be followed by the right to bear arms as guaranteed in the Second Amendment and all of the other things we are guaranteed in the Bill of Rights, the first 10 amendments to the Constitution, which was ratified in 1791. 

Because without the press, no one is continually watching our government and holding officials accountable. 

I really don’t expect the press will disappear, but it must remain strong for our form of government to survive. A free press doesn’t come without a cost. 

“When you refuse to pay for journalism you damage democracy,” Paulson said. “The real thing costs money.” 

Supporting the press is as important to freedom in our society as paying taxes is to maintaining our public services. And the press must remain free from government control so it can be objective in monitoring the government. 

People criticize the media when they make mistakes, and they do make mistakes. People are outraged when the media show favoritism, and sometimes they do compromise balance and fairness in their reporting. In spite of the media’s faults, it’s still essential to have an independent watchdog of government. 

It’s just as important to have the public hold the media accountable. The answer isn’t in restricting the media. It also isn’t in refusing to read or subscribe to a newspaper. 

People don’t always like the news that is reported. It still needs to be reported. In a free society, nothing less is acceptable. 

“News is what someone wants suppressed,” Katharine Graham, former publisher of The Washington Post, said. “Everything else is advertising. The power is to set the agenda. What we print and what we don’t print matter a lot.” 

Thomas Jefferson didn’t like the press, but at least he realized the importance of it when he helped to form our nation. 

“Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter,” is among the most quoted comments by Jefferson, who wrote the Declaration of Independence and was our third president. 

“Thomas Jefferson was as irritated with newspaper coverage as any public figure of his era,” Paulson told The Washington Post in an email. “For all the talk of media bias today, it can’t compare to the overt partisanship and personal attacks appearing in papers in our nation’s early years. But Jefferson also knew that our democracy could only flourish with a free press that would keep an eye on people in power and help protect our freedoms. 

“He understood that press coverage comes and goes, but freedom of the press must endure.” 

Not every news report is objective, but most news organizations do strive for perfection in their objectivity. Sometimes a single word can slant an article. 

We constantly review and critique our own work, and we don’t take sloppy reporting and editing lightly. In fact, we have made The Associated Press, our primary national and world news source, aware of examples when news stories seem to slant in one direction or another. Overall, the AP does a very good job. But like all of us, it’s not perfect. 

In spite of what a few former subscribers believe, I can’t imagine a more objective report than what we present day after day. That’s not just my opinion; it’s also the opinion of many readers who comment to me. Most of the dozen or so people who have cited our political coverage for canceling their subscription during the past few months are really angry that we also are reporting the side of issues that they disagree with. That’s part of a free society. 

You don’t have to like the press or what it writes, but your way of life will never be the same if you lose it. 

So be willing to read things that may not be aligned with your viewpoints. 

Don’t believe everything you read on the rumor mill that is social media. 

Trust in sources that are established and reliable. 

Remember that there is no free pass for most things in life, including news. Be willing to make an investment.

Some of us may never know how important a free press is unless we lose it. Then it will be too late. 

Our days slip away so quickly

Many years ago, when I was in college, the woman I would soon marry and I were hooked on a daytime soap opera, “The Days of our Lives.” I don’t remember much about the show, which we stopped watching when we entered the working world, but I can’t forget the title sequence, which played over a video of an hourglass, and the spoken words, “Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.”

Life is so much that way, but without the option of turning it over and beginning again.

I’ve always been fascinated by hourglasses. Before the widespread use of timers, people used them to know how long to boil an egg. We used them to establish the time for players to provide an answer when playing the Trivial Pursuit game in the 1980s. And, of course, there’s the iconic scene in the “Wizard of Oz” film when the Wicked Witch of the West turned over the large hourglass for Dorothy to watch how much time she had remaining in this world.

Looking back at my life, I am reminded that many of those days in a 41-year marriage slipped by so quickly. Sadly, her time in this world ran out long before mine has. Now, as I look forward, I am very much aware that my new relationship also is moving through the hourglass we share much too quickly.

We bought an hourglass recently. We were shopping when she pointed it out to me and said she always wanted one. Ironically, I had had the same thought several minutes earlier. We have found many similar experiences since we got together a little more than a year ago. We read each other’s thoughts and finish each other’s sentences.

The hourglass that caught our attention was not a surprise. It now sits on my desk.

Part of the fascination of hourglasses is watching as time slips away, with grains of sand representing seconds, minutes, hours or even days in our life. There is some comfort in knowing we still are here even after the last grain has dropped from the top chamber to the bottom.

In real life, however, when our sand has stopped moving so have we. It’s not that simple – and yet it is. There is no placing our life’s hourglass on its side to put life on hold or turning it over to begin life again.

So the sands in our hourglass continue to fall. It’s important to be aware of that, especially when it comes to the time we have to spend with members of our family.

Ten days ago, my sister and her husband came to visit us. The sands we shared for those busy days were gone before we were ready for them. We spent time with other family members, including our parents who are 90 and 88. We enjoyed some excellent food. We shopped. We shopped some more. Mostly, we shared memories of our lives together.

Nothing else got in the way. Meetings were missed. Grass waited to be mowed.

That’s the way it should be, because someday the sands in the top of our hourglass will run out.

Don’t wait until that happens. Spend the time you want to spend with those who are important in your life. Say the things you need to tell those who are close to you. Listen to the words of others so you can carry them into those empty and lonely times. Share the good things you feel. Forgive those who have cause you pain.

Slow down and enjoy the moments that will be gone too quickly.

Our hourglass is a good reminder of how the days of our lives, like the sand, are limited. Make every grain of life special. Make every one count.

Some family bonds never really broken

Since I started writing my Editor’s Notebook column again several weeks ago, I have received numerous messages from long-time and new readers. Among the messages was this one from Angeline, who I met about a year ago and who last week wrote:

“You will never know how many people tell me how much they miss your weekly column but I am now sharing the new link with them.

“Thanks again for sharing but please remember you do not need to be under the pressure to write a weekly column. If you skip weeks and the link pops up we can still read how and what you are doing during retirement.  So many people seek part time employment about six months when they retire. These retirees always state they miss the people. Please continue to enjoy your retirement while you are in good health.”

It was great advice, and I’m following it this week. My sister is visiting from the West Coast, so instead of taking time away from her and my brother-in-law, I’m sharing the following column I wrote after I visited them almost three years ago.

IF YOU WANT to know how well you will get along with someone, try a vacation together. I spent a long-overdue vacation week with a person who once was my annoying little sister. She’s all grown up now and not the least bit bratty. A lot has changed, but she’ll always be my little sister. 

The week was everything a vacation should be: Tiring sightseeing, too much food (and some craft beers) and a few quiet afternoons and evenings sitting in the warm sun and communicating even when we had stopped talking. 

That’s the way it can be with families, including with siblings who are separated by an entire continent and have far too little face time. All of those special years growing up together — times when we were too anxious to move away and pursue our individual lives — came rushing back when I walked through the airport terminal and saw her. She was literally jumping with joy. Who knew my visit could mean so much? 

In reflection, maybe it’s our age and the realization that we never know how many tomorrows we will share that make those times so precious. I wasn’t really thinking of that all week, however. I just enjoyed our time together. 

For a while as young children born two years apart, we were best friends. Perhaps that hasn’t changed. Through the years, we haven’t lost contact, but since she moved to the West Coast and I remained in the East, our visits are infrequent. There were times during our adult lives when our own families consumed each of us and there were long stretches without phone calls. We have talked more often during the past two years as my wife’s health faded. When my wife passed away in September, my sister and brother-in-law, along with the rest of my family, were here within days. 

We continue to talk at least weekly. Some of it is to help and support me through the grieving process. We also talk with our baby brother as we consider the needs of our parents, who are in their late 80s. 

That communication and these special family times show us who is important in our lives. It’s the same feeling I get every time I’m with my parents, my children, and especially when I’m with my grandchildren. 

Vacations can be difficult, however, when you no longer have your partner to share the experience and then the memories when the trip is over. Revisiting this trip with my sister, her husband and their youngest daughter, who also was visiting, will have to wait until her next phone call or perhaps our next visit. 

But it was an important step at this stage in my life, because I again was reminded of all the family members who still care. 

It’s amazing and encouraging that as we age we still lean on those from early in our life. Those bonds that form never really are broken. Visits such as this one give us time to reconnect and reminisce. Most of the memories are good ones. We laughed as we told some stories that we’ve shared more times than we can count and others that we’d forgotten. We teased much as we did as children, but now there’s a special kindness and caring in what we say and do. 

My sister was the one who started the family joke about my lack of appreciation for flamingoes, which developed into a large collection of ornaments, stuffed animals and decorations. She collects frog ornaments, so when I arrived at her home two weeks ago, she had a large blowup flamingo floating in the pool along with a smaller blowup frog. Strange as it seems, everywhere the flamingo went in the pool, the frog was right by its side. Some kind of irony there. 

I returned home with memories of new experiences and a renewed confirmation that there are lots of family members who love me and will be there to help me through difficult times. 

For parents who worry that their children can’t get along, there’s hope. Sometimes it takes 50 or 60 years to realize it. 

There's still something special about baseball

(This was written in 2009 and was one of my first Editor’s Notebook columns. It remains among my favorites.)

The game was almost over. The only reason we were still there after seven innings was the fireworks that were coming at the end. There’s only so much baseball a 4-year-old can handle, even with ice cream, cotton candy and funnel cakes. But we had made it and were waiting for the lights to go out and for the real show to begin.
The players for the visiting Harrisburg Senators were congratulating each other for an impressive 11-0 win over our Reading Phillies at FirstEnergy Stadium and were walking off the field. 

One of the players in catchers gear walked toward the box seats on the third base side, next to the visitors’ dugout. He reached out his mitt toward a little girl, and she took the ball in both hands. 

For her grandfather her face lit up the nighttime sky. 

My faith in baseball has been weakened in recent years. Friday night, it got a boost.

There’s a reason it’s called America’s pastime. It’s America’s game, a real field of dreams. It’s exciting and relaxing, all in one package. It’s a time for fathers and sons — or grandfathers and granddaughters — to talk and share and cheer and laugh. 

But throughout its history, baseball has been damaged from within: the Black Sox scandal of 1919, the Pete Rose suspension for betting on games, strikes, steroids and more recently bad language shouted at a victory celebration. 

For a brief moment last Friday night, all that didn’t matter. 

I don’t even know his name. Don’t know if he is a good player who will become a star or someone who is just hanging on and chasing an impossible dream. Don’t know if he respects the history of the game or not. But on this night, a minor league catcher made a little girl and her grandfather smile. 

It happened so quickly that I didn’t have a chance to thank him. To be honest, I was so captured by the expression on her face that he slipped away before I knew who he was. 

But what happened that night is a large part of what baseball is all about — fun and children and going home with a baseball. 

For any player who doesn’t understand that, it’s an assault on the game itself. Like it or not, these players are role models. They have a responsibility. And for those who are talented enough and lucky enough to move from this Double A level to the big show, that responsibility doesn’t stay behind. Millions of dollars in salaries and bonuses don’t change that. 

Too often, we all get caught up in those millions that players are paid. A baseball costs around $10, so the monetary value of what happened that Friday night wasn’t significant. 

But, you see, it’s not about the baseball; it’s the memory. 

And on this night, an unnamed young man hit a home run without swinging a bat. 

From a 4-year-old little girl and her grandfather: Thank you.

Forgiveness sets us free

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. Not just for the forgiven. It means freedom for the forgiver. It brings peace. It helps us to see things around us in a new light that is not shaded by anger.

All of that is something most of us know, but it’s something that too often most of us forget or ignore.

So we carry around the burden of offenses and mistreatment. We vow to never give in. 

It happens with co-workers, it happens with friends, and it even happens with family members. They may be people we love, but we allow our pride and stubbornness to destroy relationships.

Forgiveness is hard. When we are hurt, we don’t want to risk being hurt again. Instead, in reality, we choose to hurt ourselves.

There have been times during my life when I’ve had trouble forgiving. 

I know someone who treated me very badly. He stabbed me in the back at every opportunity. He undermined me. He tried to make me fail. My response was to ignore him as much as possible. Wasn’t that better than treating him the same way he treated me? Wasn’t it better to stay as far away as possible?

But that didn’t free me from the anger and hurt that I felt.

Not too long ago, he came to me and apologized. In what I thought at the time was a weak moment, I let my disdain for him slip away and we talked. That weak moment turned out to be a wise decision. I felt the weight of my negative feelings for him fading.

We may never be close friends, but we no longer are enemies. That feels good.

For anyone who believes there is a situation where forgiveness is impossible, I assure you there is hope. 

When people mistreat us, we often react with anger or hurt. We may grow silent. We take some comfort in anticipating how good it will be when they get what they deserve and feel the pain and suffering that should result from their actions. We want to bask in that justice and look forward to their punishment.

That, however, places the burden from the wrongdoing on ourselves. And that burden grows heavier until we stop carrying it with us.

The Bible says a lot about forgiveness, and not just the most important forgiveness, which comes from God.

Jesus told us: “Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” (Luke 17:4)

For most of us, that is easier said than done. Our anger, pride and pain become roadblocks to the peace we all seek. 

If you are carrying such a burden, let it go. If you know someone who carries those burdens, be there for them. Encourage them to forgive, but do it in a non-preaching way. Be kind to them. Perhaps, then, they will understand why they need to show kindness to others.

Lost moments in relationships will never be recovered. Every one of them is precious. Don’t waste them.

Reach out and forgive today. You will be amazed at the burden that is lifted.

Retirement provides a new perspective

It’s a strange feeling. One day much of your world centers on your job, and the next day that focus is gone. One day you are spending one-third of your weekday waking hours with a group of people, and the next you walk away and will never see some of them again.

One day you live with stress that is sometimes overwhelming, and the next you notice that the sun is shining, and you realize that you still know how to smile.

Work shouldn’t be negative, but too often it is. And too often it is because we and the people we work for and with make it that way.

It’s mostly because of the way we treat each other. If only there were more respect for others. If only we could show our appreciation more frequently. If only we could spend more of our energy working together than we do working against each other. In those ways, work isn’t unlike families, friendships, sports teams and everything else in our lives. It all comes down to how we treat people.

Sometimes the solution is setting a good example and hoping that even a few people see it and follow it. Each of us can play a part in improving the atmosphere in the workplace, but the real solution starts at the top. If those in charge don’t respect, appreciate and trust their employees, things will never be good. Being positive is not just a phrase – it has to be a way of life, beyond using words such as teamwork.

Admittedly, it can be very challenging. At times it may seem almost impossible. It’s difficult to stay positive if you spend too much time in a negative environment.

Looking back – and now from out of the working world – it’s easier to see how I and many others could do more to make work a more positive experience for others than we do when we are so focused on just getting the work done. I have a clearer picture now and can offer that perspective to others who still can make a difference.

Tell employees and co-workers that you appreciate and value them.

Treat everyone in the workplace with the respect you desire.

Learn to listen instead of talking all of the time.

Make others feel they are part of the process and not just a mindless cog. Accept, acknowledge and take seriously thoughts and ideas that are different than your own.

Communicate.

Care about others, especially when there are difficult circumstances in their lives.

The best managers, I believe, are those who raise up themselves by raising up those around them.

Of course, there may be some circumstances that can’t be fixed. In some cases, the solution may be to let go of the things that overburden us and move on.

Michael Card, a contemporary Christian music singer, wrote a song about what is important in life. It’s called “Things we leave behind” and tells the story of the disciples who were called by Jesus to share in his ministry. Some of them had very important jobs at that time – fishing – but when Jesus approached them, they dropped their nets, let their boats drift away and followed him:

“When we say ‘no’ to the things of the world we open our hearts to the love of the Lord, and it’s hard to imagine the freedom we find from the things we leave behind.”

(Link to “Things we leave behind”:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzlZ4QXMMBw)

That freedom may come in a new challenge, a new circumstance or a new environment. Perhaps a new perspective. For many of us, that may not come until retirement.

I loved most parts of my job, and I was fortunate that part of my job evolved into sharing positive messages through my writing. That’s the part I want to carry forward into my next assignment.

I used to think that when I reached retirement age it would mean my life is nearing an end. I’ve since discovered that there is so much of life to experience and enjoy in retirement. There may be less time ahead, but there is more quality time. I no longer have to be distracted by the politics and games that can be so much part of workplaces. Those issues consumed way too much of my working and non-working time. So, in essence I have more time now. More time to live. More time to serve. More time to share.

Retirement is a strange feeling. I’ve learned quickly that it’s also a very good one.