Many years ago, when I was in college, the woman I would soon marry and I were hooked on a daytime soap opera, “The Days of our Lives.” I don’t remember much about the show, which we stopped watching when we entered the working world, but I can’t forget the title sequence, which played over a video of an hourglass, and the spoken words, “Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.”
Life is so much that way, but without the option of turning it over and beginning again.
I’ve always been fascinated by hourglasses. Before the widespread use of timers, people used them to know how long to boil an egg. We used them to establish the time for players to provide an answer when playing the Trivial Pursuit game in the 1980s. And, of course, there’s the iconic scene in the “Wizard of Oz” film when the Wicked Witch of the West turned over the large hourglass for Dorothy to watch how much time she had remaining in this world.
Looking back at my life, I am reminded that many of those days in a 41-year marriage slipped by so quickly. Sadly, her time in this world ran out long before mine has. Now, as I look forward, I am very much aware that my new relationship also is moving through the hourglass we share much too quickly.
We bought an hourglass recently. We were shopping when she pointed it out to me and said she always wanted one. Ironically, I had had the same thought several minutes earlier. We have found many similar experiences since we got together a little more than a year ago. We read each other’s thoughts and finish each other’s sentences.
The hourglass that caught our attention was not a surprise. It now sits on my desk.
Part of the fascination of hourglasses is watching as time slips away, with grains of sand representing seconds, minutes, hours or even days in our life. There is some comfort in knowing we still are here even after the last grain has dropped from the top chamber to the bottom.
In real life, however, when our sand has stopped moving so have we. It’s not that simple – and yet it is. There is no placing our life’s hourglass on its side to put life on hold or turning it over to begin life again.
So the sands in our hourglass continue to fall. It’s important to be aware of that, especially when it comes to the time we have to spend with members of our family.
Ten days ago, my sister and her husband came to visit us. The sands we shared for those busy days were gone before we were ready for them. We spent time with other family members, including our parents who are 90 and 88. We enjoyed some excellent food. We shopped. We shopped some more. Mostly, we shared memories of our lives together.
Nothing else got in the way. Meetings were missed. Grass waited to be mowed.
That’s the way it should be, because someday the sands in the top of our hourglass will run out.
Don’t wait until that happens. Spend the time you want to spend with those who are important in your life. Say the things you need to tell those who are close to you. Listen to the words of others so you can carry them into those empty and lonely times. Share the good things you feel. Forgive those who have cause you pain.
Slow down and enjoy the moments that will be gone too quickly.
Our hourglass is a good reminder of how the days of our lives, like the sand, are limited. Make every grain of life special. Make every one count.
Thank you, having recently lost my Dad this article brought tears to my eyes. Life and the time we have with our loved ones passed much to quickly. As my Dad has Alzheimer's my family knew the end of his life was coming and we could prepare but when the end came it is still heartbreaking. I am glad I had the opportunity to spend as much time as I could with my Dad before he passed.
ReplyDeleteLiked the hourglass parabe. But why are 3 minute timers called hourglasses.
ReplyDelete" Nothing else got in the way. Meetings were missed. Grass waited to be mowed.
ReplyDeleteThat’s the way it should be, because someday the sands in the top of our hourglass will run out." This really resonated fo rme. As I gain life experience (a kind way to say "get older") I find it increasingly important to set aside my "to do" list and spend more time with people I care about. I have reduced my work hours some to be able to have time to meet friends for lunch or coffee. I make time to stay connected with folks in my various communities (work, faith, etc.) because I am a firm believer that we are creatures of belonging and we function best when we stay connected to each other. Virtual connection is fine, but I find in-person connection to be so precious- and worth making time for. Blessings to you.