Forgiveness sets us free

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. Not just for the forgiven. It means freedom for the forgiver. It brings peace. It helps us to see things around us in a new light that is not shaded by anger.

All of that is something most of us know, but it’s something that too often most of us forget or ignore.

So we carry around the burden of offenses and mistreatment. We vow to never give in. 

It happens with co-workers, it happens with friends, and it even happens with family members. They may be people we love, but we allow our pride and stubbornness to destroy relationships.

Forgiveness is hard. When we are hurt, we don’t want to risk being hurt again. Instead, in reality, we choose to hurt ourselves.

There have been times during my life when I’ve had trouble forgiving. 

I know someone who treated me very badly. He stabbed me in the back at every opportunity. He undermined me. He tried to make me fail. My response was to ignore him as much as possible. Wasn’t that better than treating him the same way he treated me? Wasn’t it better to stay as far away as possible?

But that didn’t free me from the anger and hurt that I felt.

Not too long ago, he came to me and apologized. In what I thought at the time was a weak moment, I let my disdain for him slip away and we talked. That weak moment turned out to be a wise decision. I felt the weight of my negative feelings for him fading.

We may never be close friends, but we no longer are enemies. That feels good.

For anyone who believes there is a situation where forgiveness is impossible, I assure you there is hope. 

When people mistreat us, we often react with anger or hurt. We may grow silent. We take some comfort in anticipating how good it will be when they get what they deserve and feel the pain and suffering that should result from their actions. We want to bask in that justice and look forward to their punishment.

That, however, places the burden from the wrongdoing on ourselves. And that burden grows heavier until we stop carrying it with us.

The Bible says a lot about forgiveness, and not just the most important forgiveness, which comes from God.

Jesus told us: “Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” (Luke 17:4)

For most of us, that is easier said than done. Our anger, pride and pain become roadblocks to the peace we all seek. 

If you are carrying such a burden, let it go. If you know someone who carries those burdens, be there for them. Encourage them to forgive, but do it in a non-preaching way. Be kind to them. Perhaps, then, they will understand why they need to show kindness to others.

Lost moments in relationships will never be recovered. Every one of them is precious. Don’t waste them.

Reach out and forgive today. You will be amazed at the burden that is lifted.