Love fills the emptiness in life

He sat alone. 

I did not. But I could have been in his place.

I watched him from across the aisle in the nearly empty fast-food restaurant where we had stopped for a late afternoon snack. I didn’t stare, but I couldn’t avoid pausing to look at him as I scanned the room. On one side of us, there was a couple who, perhaps like me, recently retired. On the other was a young couple with a newborn, who was the center of their attention. Naturally.

But my thoughts kept returning to the elderly man who sat alone by the window.

I wondered about his circumstances. Was he widowed? Divorced? Perhaps he always had been alone. Or maybe he was just grabbing an easy meal while others in his family had commitments for the evening. 

I couldn’t know, but I sensed a sadness in him. There was no smile. He quietly and slowly ate his meal.

He didn’t focus on a smart phone as too many of us, young and old, do too often these days. He might have had reason to do that, unlike those of us who have companionship and yet choose not to carry on a face-to-face conversation.

I looked for a wedding ring, but I wasn’t able to see his hand without an obvious stare.

He might have been my age, but sometimes it’s hard to tell. I have learned that illness can make a person look older. So can loneliness. 

I looked across my table at the woman who now fills my world and thought that other turns recently in my life could have led me to be that lonely man by the window. That’s why I cherish every day with someone to share love in this world.

People don’t understand the isolation and emptiness unless they have been there. Or are there. 

I knew the feeling. When my wife died more than three years ago, part of me died too. 

The memory of all we had remains. If you spend many years in a strong relationship it has to hurt when it ends. Every decision, every thought, every feeling involves two. And then it’s just you. Words unspoken. Thoughts unshared. 

There is emptiness in a house that had been filled with conversation and music, laughter and tears. Books and televisions can’t fill the void of a lost loved one.

I sense that those loved ones whom we have lost remain connected to us in some way. Can we feel their presence even in the absence of verbal or visual connections? Is their touch something that we sense but aren’t capable of understanding? Are we never really separated from them? 

Perhaps, but she and I are in different places now, and while I believe the woman who shared more than four decades of my life is surrounded now by love that exceeds what I could provide, I was left to carry on alone in this world that is so difficult to understand at times. There always has been family, but it’s hard to fill the void when you lose the love of your life. The emptiness and loneliness can be overwhelming.

And then I found love again.

It will never be the old love and it shouldn’t be. It has to exist on its own. 

There are struggles and adjustments. Aren’t there always? 

Life doesn’t always take the path we desire, but sometimes there are unexpected blessings when we are forced to turn a corner.

This new love gives me hope. Comfort. Someone to share everything again. 

It’s why love and relationships are so important. They give us reasons to look forward to tomorrow. They give us encouragement and satisfaction. They fill the emptiness.

In spite of my sadness for the lonely man by the window, it was hard not to smile when I looked across the table at the person with me. To feel my life full again. To have a reason to want another day in this world.

As all of those thoughts passed through my mind I was reminded how blessed I am. I wondered if, perhaps, that lonely man also might someday be blessed with the kind of love I’ve found twice in my life.

When we got up to leave, I glanced his way again, hoping to leave a smile or a silent passing prayer for him. But he was gone. I want to believe that someone special was waiting for him. If not, I hope he still finds someone to share his life. Someone to love. Someone to love him.

I know the pain of loneliness. 

I also know how love can change your life. It’s never too late.