During the past 10 years, I’ve written several columns offering advice based on my experience in life. So in recognition of Father’s Day and as encouragement for recent graduates, here’s a compilation from those columns.
As a father, it’s been my responsibility to impart some wisdom to my children, even if they don’t always see it that way.
One of my favorite quotes was attributed to Mark Twain in a 1937 Reader’s Digest: “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
I framed the quote and used to have it on the wall in my study.
Even though it’s not always sought, I have shared some advice that I’ve experienced or learned from others over the years. Such as:
■ Don’t go into debt for anything other than a house or a car, and don’t charge anything on a credit card you can’t pay off when the bill arrives.
■ Create an emergency fund and put it somewhere that’s not easy to access.
■ Find a job that provides good health care coverage – and keep it.
My children haven’t always listened to me, but they know the importance of those things.
Here are a few others that I’ve shared and strongly believe:
■ Don’t lie. Not only because it’s wrong, but because you almost always get caught. Even if you don’t, you live with the stress of worrying about getting caught.
■ Value and protect your reputation. It takes a long time to build it up and a moment to destroy it.
■ Do the right thing. It may not always be what you want or the most fun, but it will be the most satisfying.
■ Even if you do the right thing, people may lie about you or attack your reputation, but it’s still better than being lied about or attacked for doing the wrong thing. And your conscience will be a lot clearer.
■ Volunteer. The only way to make things better is to get involved.
■ Do things without looking for recognition or credit. Some of the people I admire most never get the recognition they deserve, which makes them even more deserving. Their motivation is genuine.
■ Help those less fortunate than yourself. That applies to all but one person at any one time on Earth.
■ When you are feeling well or when you are happy, stop for a minute and recognize it. We spend a lot of time dwelling on the times we are sick or unhappy. How often do we stop to bask in the happy or healthy moments?
■ Spend time with positive people. Their approach to life can be contagious.
■ Realize that your attitude and frame of mind make a difference in how you view the world and how the world views you.
■ Climb a mountain and enjoy the view. It’s only when you put the work into the trip that you will fully appreciate what you see.
■ Learn to be patient. Sometimes you need to invest a lot of time and effort in what you want, but you’ll appreciate it more than things that come quickly and easily.
■ Be realistic. It’s good to set lofty goals, but not to the point that you spend too much time fretting about your failure to reach them. Don’t get too carried away by your successes or too discouraged by your disappointments. Things can, and usually will, change tomorrow.
■ You are not the center of the universe. You are a part of it, but everything is not about you. So quit thinking about just yourself and what you want. Instead, focus on what others need and how you can help them. That will have a lasting impact on others. It also will have a big impact on you.
■ Be on time. You are not so important that others should have to wait for you to start events or meetings. Reread the previous paragraph.
■ Stop making excuses for what doesn’t go your way. If you want things to improve, take positive steps and work harder.
■ Accept responsibility for your actions. People respect accountability far more than blame.
■ Don’t consider every obstacle or setback a problem. Instead consider them opportunities to learn and grow.
■ Stop talking so much and start listening more. That will say a lot about how smart you really are.
■ Bite your tongue. What you intend to say in anger won’t have a positive impact on the object of your frustration and likely will have a negative impact on you, as well.
■ Be nice. Every day, say something nice to someone. Every week, do something nice for someone without wanting and expecting recognition or acknowledgement.
■ People will judge you on how you act. They’ll remember you for how you treated others. Here’s a good exercise: Write your own epitaph. It might help you to determine how to live your life.
■ Listen to those with experience. Chances are they already made the mistakes you’re about to make. But don’t be afraid to take chances. You probably will learn a more lasting lesson if you experience those same mistakes on your own.
■ Find a good partner in life, then every day treat that person with respect and make that person your priority.
■ Treat children as if they really matter, because they really do.
■ Don’t lose patience with those who are very young or very old. Remember where you were. Consider where you’re heading.
■ Don’t wish your life away. Those things you couldn’t wait to get you’ll someday trade in a heartbeat for another … heartbeat.
■ If you really believe in something, live that way.
■ If you see something that is clearly wrong, don’t create another wrong by ignoring it.
■ When you’re excited or passionate about something, let it show. But it seldom works when you fake it or put on an act. People see right through false enthusiasm.
■ Surround yourself with people who don’t always agree with you, then don’t rebuke them when they do what they’re expected to do.
■ Friends are very important, but when you really need help there is nothing that matters more than family.
■ Forgive those who have hurt you. It will help you even more than them because it will lift the burden of anger that you carry.
■ Don’t take sports too seriously. For most, it’s only a game and should be fun.
■ Read. There’s not much better than a good book.
■ At least once, read the entire Bible. There’s no book better than the Good Book.
■ Pray. You won’t know how important it is until you’ve experienced it.
■ Listen to your mother. What more do I need to say?
No comments:
Post a Comment