Fall leaves time for thoughts

It’s fall, and we have spent hours during the past month raking leaves from the lawn and driveway. It’s not a chore I enjoy, but it’s one that needs to be done.

It would be easier if all the leaves fell from the trees within a few days, and then we could collect them at one time and drop them at the curb for the township collection. But trees seem to have a mind of their own – at least Oak trees do.

We don’t have Oak trees, but our neighbors do. They like to share, and it’s easy because the wind blows in the direction from their yard to ours. I guess there is some rule that leaves become the property of the house where they land. I accept the ownership of the leaves that fall from the branches into our yard. I just wish when those neighbors collect their leaves they wouldn’t pile them in their flower beds. Thanks to the wind, most of them find their way into our yard, where they have to be collected a second time.

My conservative estimate is that 75 percent of the leaves we collect are not from our own trees.

That’s my rant, and I’ll leave it at that.

The good part about raking leaves is that it gives me time to think without all the normal distractions in life, including cell phones and televisions. It’s the same with mowing grass or painting, two more jobs that I do out of necessity, not out of enjoyment.

Don’t get the idea that I don’t like to work around the house. I’m just not a fan of projects that need to be repeated. I do enjoy building, remodeling and repairing. At least when those tasks are finished I have something to enjoy that will last for a while.

Back to the leaves. One of the things that keeps me motivated as I’m raking and blowing the neighbors’ Oak leaves is a story shared by Leo Buscaglia a few decades ago. He was a teacher, author and motivational speaker who was best known for his focus on love. Yes, there is a connection between leaves and love.

I’ve read variations of his story, but here is the essence of it: Leo’s neighbors saw fallen leaves as a chore, but Leo saw the beauty in them. So instead of disposing of them, he collected them and spread them in his living room where he could enjoy them longer.

I have no intention of going to that extreme, but there is a good lesson to be learned. So often we fail to see the beauty around us because we are so busy focusing on the work we have to do.

Here is what I need to see in those leaves that land in our yard:

Each one is unique. Not just the different types that we rake – Oaks, Maples, Elms and more Oaks – but also the leaves that fall from the same tree. The shapes, sizes and colors vary. Just like people. And when they are all together, they create a beautiful picture. So do the leaves.

We can’t stop the leaves from falling. Nor can we stop the rain or the snow. But we can focus on their beauty and the benefits they provide for the earth as they decompose and enrich the soil.

Leaves provide shade during the hot summer days.

They fall to the ground in the autumn and make way for the new buds that we can enjoy in the spring. That is one of those hopeful signs that help us to recover from a long, cold winter. 

We need to be thankful that we have trees and leaves, including migratory Oak leaves. Not every place is blessed that way; some places are barren. 

So, while I am raking, I continue to focus on seeing the benefit of leaves.

Next I will need to work on enjoying all the snow that is expected to fall this winter. 

When troubled, turn to family, friends and faith

Sometimes it’s good to remind ourselves of our perspective from years ago. This week I’m sharing a column I wrote for Thanksgiving week in 2012. It’s about what we should be giving thanks for this week – family, friends and faith.

The hospital waiting room was crowded. I looked around at people from all walks of life, and I wondered about their stories. For many, the pain and concern was clear on their faces. Some were obviously tired. One or two seemed almost inconvenienced. 

Each knew someone who was going through an experience that could be life-changing in a good or bad way. 

In such a crowded room, we all can feel so alone. 

There are many such times in our lives when we feel so helpless. Often, it’s when we lose control. Not when we are out of control, but when we no longer are able to have things exactly the way we want them. 

So we sit and wait anxiously. Or we worry and fret. 

Sometimes we hope and pray, but probably not often enough. That would make things easier, but our human weaknesses get in the way. Instead of trusting and believing, we doubt. 

Peace can be hard to find, usually because we turn it away when we separate ourselves from those who can help and support us. And yet, for those brief moments when we let down our guard and find it, the feeling exceeds all that we can imagine.

It’s not just those troubles that find us that cause pain and disappointment in our lives. It’s also the situations we create. There are so many things we can accomplish in our lives, so many battles to win and mountains to climb. Often we make them so much harder than they are. 

We have such high expectations for ourselves and for those around us, so disappointment becomes almost inevitable. It would be so much better if we could plan for the future, then accept things as they come. We never know what is around the corner. Those times let us know how powerless we are. 

Our outlook on life often is shaped by how we deal with those challenges. 

Life has been described and defined by many people throughout history. Here are a few descriptions I have found, formed and come to believe. 

Life is like a roller coaster: It has ups and downs, excitement and fear, fast and slow times, twists and turns. We can choose to hold on or ride hands-free. 

Life is like a football game: We have to depend on others around us to reach our goals. Sometimes they share our pain or celebrations, and sometimes we own them alone. Sometimes we choose to run through obstacles, other times we pass around them. There often are others surrounding us who will cheer us on, if we’re willing to hear them. 

Life is like a hike in the woods: Regardless of how well our route is planned, we can get lost along the way. There are so many challenges and struggles that we often are tempted to quit. But if we’re willing to continue, one step at a time, we eventually will reach our destination and the satisfaction that comes with what we’ve accomplished. 

Mostly, I’ve come to believe that life is all about change. We make friends, then we drift apart. We raise children, then they go off to raise children of their own. We focus on careers as a bridge to retirement. Too often along those journeys, we focus on just the details and fail to consider the bigger picture.

We have goals and dreams, and we have wants and needs. What we get is reality. Along the way, we face disappointment and hurt. 

I don’t believe life is only what we make it. Life also is how we handle it. 

Where do we turn when challenges and trials overwhelm us? 

For most, the solution rests with friends, family and faith. 

I’m thankful that there are times such as this when I slow down long enough to reflect on where I’ve been, where I am and where I may be going. Sometimes I find those outcomes are not always what I hoped for or expected. 

I want to be a person who looks at things only from a positive perspective. I try. I admit, however, that it doesn’t always happen. 

So if you see me and I seem a little down, know that it may not have anything to do with you. You may want to offer a little encouragement through a kind word or a smile. 

And I’ll try to do the same for you. 

The Spirit of Scouting

 Last week I was honored to receive the Spirit of Scouting Award from the Hawk Mountain Council of the Boy Scouts of America. Following is the brief talk I gave. In the photo at left is the award, which has a special place in my study, along with a Scout Handbook from the 1930s and a mug that was given to me by former Leesport Scoutmaster Smokey Wenrich after he visited the Baden-Powell House in England. Robert Baden-Powell started the Scouting program.

Some people know I like to preach.

My kids know, but they are grown up and on their own, so it’s difficult to preach to them.

I no longer am writing a weekly column for the newspaper, so my congregation for those messages is reduced.

So it’s good to have this opportunity today to talk briefly from this pulpit.

For those of you who understand how the Scouting program works, consider this my Scoutmaster’s minute.

There’s a lot I could say about the real meaning of the spirit of scouting.

There’s no better definition than this:

It’s doing the right thing.

Isn’t that true about everything in life? It should be about doing the right thing.

Some people may tell you it’s not always easy to do that right thing, but I will tell you doing the right thing should be easy. It’s a better choice than doing the wrong thing. It’s a better choice than doing nothing at all.

Lou Holtz, the football coach and motivational speaker, said: 

There’s never a right time to do the wrong thing.

And there’s never a wrong time to do the right thing.

I learned that while growing up, was reminded of it in Scouting, and I’ve applied it in many other parts of my life, including in my job as editor of the Reading Eagle. It’s how I survived the stress of being a newspaper editor. It’s why I shared my faith with readers. It’s why I wrote about my experience as a caregiver for my wife, because by telling people about my challenges and trials in life, others were able to relate and gain hope in their lives.

In the process, I also learned to shape and understand what was important in my own life. 

In Scouting, we put emphasis on the scout law – trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent – and the Scout Oath, which reminds us to keep ourselves physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.

That’ all part of doing the right thing.

During my experience as an adult at the troop level, there were two important principles we followed:

When there were conflicts, we always asked, “What’s in the best interest of the boys?”

And we reminded ourselves constantly to lead by example. And in life, just as in Scouting, it’s not about judging people or telling them how to live, it’s about showing others how to live through the way we live our own life.

So I will leave you with this poem, which shaped a lot of what we followed in Scouting. It’s “The Bridge builder” and was written by a woman named Will Allen Dromgoole about 100 years ago.

An old man going a lone highway,

Came, at the evening cold and gray,

To a chasm vast and deep and wide,

Through which was flowing a sullen tide.

The old man crossed in the twilight dim,

The sullen stream had no fears for him;

But he turned when safe on the other side

And built a bridge to span the tide.

“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near,

“You are wasting your time with building here.

Your journey will end with the ending day,

You never again will pass this way.

You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,

Why build this bridge at evening tide?”

The builder lifted his old gray head.

“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,

“There followed after me today

A youth whose feet must pass this way.

This chasm that has been as naught to me,

To that fair youth may a pitfall be.

He, too, must cross in the twilight dim —

Good friend, I am building this bridge for him.”

Let’s build bridges. It’s the right thing to do.

(Following is the link to the story published by the Reading Eagle.)

https://www.readingeagle.com/news/article/retired-eagle-editor-receives-spirit-of-scouting-award

Love fills the emptiness in life

He sat alone. 

I did not. But I could have been in his place.

I watched him from across the aisle in the nearly empty fast-food restaurant where we had stopped for a late afternoon snack. I didn’t stare, but I couldn’t avoid pausing to look at him as I scanned the room. On one side of us, there was a couple who, perhaps like me, recently retired. On the other was a young couple with a newborn, who was the center of their attention. Naturally.

But my thoughts kept returning to the elderly man who sat alone by the window.

I wondered about his circumstances. Was he widowed? Divorced? Perhaps he always had been alone. Or maybe he was just grabbing an easy meal while others in his family had commitments for the evening. 

I couldn’t know, but I sensed a sadness in him. There was no smile. He quietly and slowly ate his meal.

He didn’t focus on a smart phone as too many of us, young and old, do too often these days. He might have had reason to do that, unlike those of us who have companionship and yet choose not to carry on a face-to-face conversation.

I looked for a wedding ring, but I wasn’t able to see his hand without an obvious stare.

He might have been my age, but sometimes it’s hard to tell. I have learned that illness can make a person look older. So can loneliness. 

I looked across my table at the woman who now fills my world and thought that other turns recently in my life could have led me to be that lonely man by the window. That’s why I cherish every day with someone to share love in this world.

People don’t understand the isolation and emptiness unless they have been there. Or are there. 

I knew the feeling. When my wife died more than three years ago, part of me died too. 

The memory of all we had remains. If you spend many years in a strong relationship it has to hurt when it ends. Every decision, every thought, every feeling involves two. And then it’s just you. Words unspoken. Thoughts unshared. 

There is emptiness in a house that had been filled with conversation and music, laughter and tears. Books and televisions can’t fill the void of a lost loved one.

I sense that those loved ones whom we have lost remain connected to us in some way. Can we feel their presence even in the absence of verbal or visual connections? Is their touch something that we sense but aren’t capable of understanding? Are we never really separated from them? 

Perhaps, but she and I are in different places now, and while I believe the woman who shared more than four decades of my life is surrounded now by love that exceeds what I could provide, I was left to carry on alone in this world that is so difficult to understand at times. There always has been family, but it’s hard to fill the void when you lose the love of your life. The emptiness and loneliness can be overwhelming.

And then I found love again.

It will never be the old love and it shouldn’t be. It has to exist on its own. 

There are struggles and adjustments. Aren’t there always? 

Life doesn’t always take the path we desire, but sometimes there are unexpected blessings when we are forced to turn a corner.

This new love gives me hope. Comfort. Someone to share everything again. 

It’s why love and relationships are so important. They give us reasons to look forward to tomorrow. They give us encouragement and satisfaction. They fill the emptiness.

In spite of my sadness for the lonely man by the window, it was hard not to smile when I looked across the table at the person with me. To feel my life full again. To have a reason to want another day in this world.

As all of those thoughts passed through my mind I was reminded how blessed I am. I wondered if, perhaps, that lonely man also might someday be blessed with the kind of love I’ve found twice in my life.

When we got up to leave, I glanced his way again, hoping to leave a smile or a silent passing prayer for him. But he was gone. I want to believe that someone special was waiting for him. If not, I hope he still finds someone to share his life. Someone to love. Someone to love him.

I know the pain of loneliness. 

I also know how love can change your life. It’s never too late.

One answer for many questions

     Why would anybody hate someone because of their belief in God?

     Why would anybody judge someone based on the color of their skin or their sexual orientation?

     Why would anybody hate or judge someone, period?

     Why would anybody destroy the life of someone who is different or disagrees?

     Why would anybody destroy a life, period?

     Why are people in such a hurry to get places that they put others and themselves at risk?

     Why won’t people pause long enough to enjoy a sunset?

     Why won’t people take the time to hug the people they love?

     Why won’t people simply love?

     Why do people believe the only way to get ahead is by stepping on others?

     Why won’t people forgive those who have hurt them?

     Why can’t people enjoy sports without becoming angry?

     Why can’t people accept diversity in the world and appreciate that each of us is unique?

     Why don’t people respect authority and follow rules and laws that are in place to protect everyone?

     Why can’t people be kind?

     Why don’t people listen more and talk less?

     Why don’t people help others in need?

     Why don’t people recognize when others are lonely?

     Why don’t we learn from history?

     Why don’t we learn from our own mistakes?

     Why do we have to ask these same questions?

     Why don’t people listen to God?

     If we find the answer to the last question and address it, all the other problems in the world also will be solved.