Don't forget about the gift you are

In celebrating my first Christmas in retirement, I am sharing past columns I’ve written about Christmas. I call them the 12 columns of Christmas. The following was written for Dec.26, 2010.

Now that the busy Christmas morning is over, maybe it’s time for us to think about our gifts. 

I don’t mean the ones you unwrapped Saturday morning. I’m talking about the gift that you have to offer others every day of the year: you. 

Believe it or not, we all have talents, skills and abilities. Some have more than others, but we all have them. And there are so many opportunities to use them. Too often, we keep them wrapped up and don’t share them. Sometimes it’s God-given gifts; other times it’s gifts we’ve developed through the years.
They range from those who can repair homes, heal the sick, feed the poor, teach the unknowing, protect the vulnerable and minister to the lost or misdirected, to those who can simply share a kind word or a smile with people who are lonely or in despair. 

The important thing is that we use those gifts. 

Appropriately, one of my favorite Bible messages is from Matthew 25:14-30. If you’re not familiar with it, you can look it up.
Briefly, it’s the story of a man who is going away and gives what he owns to three of his servants to take care of. When he returns, he learns that the one to whom he had entrusted the most, has returned double. The same is true for the one to whom he had given the next amount. 

But the one to whom he had given the least simply has kept the money safe and hasn’t put it to any use. 

The point is, the more abilities or blessings that we have, the more we should do with them. But being afraid and not using them at all is simply wasting them. 

Or, as author and motivational speaker Leo Buscaglia said: “Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.” 

So, at this time when we focus so much on gifts and gift giving, take some time to think about the gifts you have to share and the gift you are. 

Then consider what you have done with those gifts. 

Those are the gifts that need to be re-gifted. Those are the gifts that keep on giving. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 

Let's not forget the real reason for this season

In celebrating my first Christmas in retirement, I am sharing past columns I’ve written about Christmas. I call them the 12 columns of Christmas. The following was written for Dec.25, 2011.

Merry Christmas.

I really mean it.

I hope you have happy holidays, too. And season’s greetings and any other generic wishes you can think of saying.
Mostly, I wish you Merry Christmas. 

Because that’s what I believe.
So much has been written and debated in recent years about being politically correct at this time of year, and we do need to be considerate of others’ feelings and beliefs. But how does eliminating references to Christmas accomplish that? Doing that is offensive to many people. 

Today is Christmas Day. Let’s not pretend it’s not. 

The tree in your living room is a Christmas tree, as emphasized in the recent flap raised by Gov. Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island when he referred to the tree in the Statehouse as a “holiday tree.” 

For many people, houses are trimmed with Christmas decorations. We send out Christmas cards, sing Christmas carols and make Christmas cookies. 

Before I go further, this is not an objection to other religious observances. But if I’m a Christian, why shouldn’t I wish you Merry Christmas. I’d be honored to have my Jewish friends and acquaintances say Happy Hanukkah. I believe the same for other observations. We place a Christmas tree in our office. We also place a menorah. I’m happy to see both.

If we really believe and follow our faith, why should we hide it? Isn’t sharing a big part of our faith?

I understand the issues of restricting religious symbols on public property. Our nation was founded in large part to allow religious freedom. That’s why it’s important to maintain the separation of church and state. 

Those issues are easily resolved by placing religious displays and symbols on private property where they can be viewed by the public. I’m sure there is plenty of that space available. 

Hiding or ignoring the references to Christmas and what they mean makes no sense to me. 

Let’s get back to what Christmas really stands for. It is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ and the hope he represents to the world. So how can we celebrate Christmas and ignore Jesus? Even if you’re not a Christian, the hope of the Christmas season extends to the entire world. 

I’m not suggesting we eliminate Santa Claus. That wouldn’t go over well with my grandchildren. Besides, Santa represents the spirit of giving. Notice I wrote giving, not getting. 

So how did we reach the point where Christmas has become a generic holiday celebration in many areas? Why do many people — including many Christians — believe “happy holidays” is an acceptable substitute for “Merry Christmas”? 

Perhaps it is because some people feel they should be able to celebrate this special time of year even if they don’t observe, believe or acknowledge the reason for the season. They are free to do that. But those observations should not replace Christmas. 

Perhaps it’s because of a small segment of nonbelievers who are overwhelmed by the impact of the real Christmas spirit and somehow feel Christians are forcing their beliefs on others. 

More likely, it’s the result of people hiding behind a false concern of offending others. So they avoid a greeting that represents joy, peace and hope. Seriously? 

Well, Christmas is not generic. So don’t pretend it’s something it’s not. And don’t try to hide it. 

It’s Christmas day. If you’re a Christian, enjoy the day for what it really is. If you’re not, at least acknowledge and respect it. Don’t try to put my observance and others’ under wraps, so to speak. But do enjoy whatever holiday you choose to celebrate. 

I really mean that.

Merry Christmas. 

Special time to show the world Merry Christmas

In celebrating my first Christmas in retirement, I am sharing past columns I’ve written about Christmas. I call them the 12 columns of Christmas. The following was written for Dec.25, 2016.

Merry Christmas. Today is a day for celebration. A day when we mark the birth of a man who changed the world more than any other who has walked on the Earth. A man who drew his first earthly breath in a stable surrounded by animals and then was honored and praised by kings. 

He lived a childhood like many of us, and grew into a man unlike any of us. He spoke love in the midst of hate. He showed kindness when faced with anger. He offered forgiveness beyond what any of us could imagine. 

It was not only significant that he was born in a lowly setting, it also was important. The humblest of beginnings put him in position to teach us humility. It was the first of many lessons he would share. 

At this time of year, we gather together, because Christmas is a time for families and friends. We should put on hold our busy lives to reflect on who and what is important in the world — something we do too infrequently and too briefly. 

There are some who will tell you that Jesus wasn’t really born on the 25th of December. That may be true. Does it matter? What is really important about this day is that we acknowledge his birth. It’s a day when we center our attention on love and peace. On forgiveness and compassion. On hope. Even if you aren’t a member of the Christian church, those things still hold true. 

On this day, all believers in God — Jews, Muslims, Christians — need to renew our commitment to love, tolerance, compassion, peace and understanding. Dec. 25 isn’t just the celebration of the birth of a baby boy, it’s also the recognition of all that is good in the world. It’s fitting that we call him the Prince of Peace. 

So on this day we give presents because of the greatest gift, which God presented to us. It came first in the birth of Jesus, then in the gift of forgiveness. That’s not a gift we can buy. It’s not a gift we can earn. But it is a gift that is ours by simply accepting it. 

It also is a gift that we need to share with others. 

Some people refuse to acknowledge the Christ in Christmas. As a result, many others have replaced Christmas greetings with holiday greetings. When and why did a loving Christmas greeting become something we are expected to avoid? 

Christmas isn’t something that’s just between Christians. It’s something Christians need to share with the world around them. Not just in what they believe, but also in how they act and what they say. It begins with faith, but it then needs to be put into action. And it needs to be carried throughout the year. 

So say Merry Christmas to those you meet. More important, show Merry Christmas. It’s a sign of who you are, not who others are or who others believe you should be. 

It’s a sign of the miracle of life and the essence of love. 

It’s a sign of peace at a time when we need that more than ever. 

Christmas is perfect every year

In celebrating my first Christmas in retirement, I am sharing past columns I’ve written about Christmas. I call them the 12 columns of Christmas. The following was written for Dec.24, 2017.

“I want to feel Christmas, how it used to be, 

“With all of its wonder falling on me.

“This season has felt so empty, oh, for 

quite a while.

“I want to feel Christmas like a child.” 

– Lyrics from “Christmas Like a Child” by Third Day 

Christmas is perfect. That’s true every year because of what it represents: the birth of God’s son. Sometimes the way we observe the special day and season isn’t nearly as perfect. 

We want perfect gifts, perfect meals, perfect decorations and perfect weather. Too often our pursuit of that perfection overshadows the real perfection that is the Christmas season. 

The birth of Jesus in a stable should set the tone for how we approach the season — a world-changing event that is wrapped in simplicity. 

Young children may not fully understand the real meaning of Christmas, but their excitement over the happiness and joy that surrounds them should be an example for all of us. We need to focus on families, happiness, giving and anticipation. We need to think about the gift that was given to us and the importance of sharing that gift. Mostly, we need to focus on the love that the Christmas season represents. 

As we grow older, too many of us get so wrapped up in the busyness of the season that we lose those feelings. Christmas hasn’t changed, but many of us have. 

The first step in finding the perfect approach to Christmas is to focus on the reason for the season. The second step is setting aside time for family and friends. That’s the way I remember Christmas from my childhood and from the years before everything else during this season got in the way. 

I don’t remember many of the presents I received as a child, but I can’t forget my excitement when my grandparents would arrive early on Christmas morning. I also remember the live Christmas tree in the center of a large miniature village with a train and lighted houses and streetlights. I remember taking part in Christmas programs at church. 

After my family moved to Berks County in 1980, we met some friends and went caroling throughout our community, then we would return to our house for warm drinks and desserts. A few years later members of our church would travel to visit and sing to shut-ins and members in nursing homes. 

For years my wife and I shared a marathon cookie baking day about two weeks before Christmas. 

Every year, on Christmas Eve, my wife insisted that I read “The Night Before Christmas” to our three children. 

As we got older, perhaps we worried too much about all we had to
do or just got lazy, but some of those
special times were put on hold or
abandoned. 

That’s sad, and as I’ve grown older I realize the importance of those traditions. We’ve lost our focus. We’ve lost our way. So this year, I wanted to take the first steps to returning to the Christmases I knew years ago. Even though my wife is no longer with us, the cookie baking day returned with my family, including the new love in my life. 

She and I plan to serve meals to the elderly on Christmas Day, something she has done for several years. 

We’ll visit with some family members. 

Perhaps, after church on Christmas Eve, we’ll create a perfect picture of us sitting together in front of a fireplace with cups of hot chocolate in a room with a few special decorations, including a cherished family Nativity scene. 

That’s a start. Maybe next year we’ll bring back a big Christmas dinner with family members sitting around a table enjoying turkey or ham, perhaps roasted chestnuts like my grandmother used to make and warm apple pie and Christmas cookies. And then a long walk together. 

I didn’t mention all the gifts. They will be there, too, wrapped and waiting under the tree. But they are not what is most important. Years from now, we won’t remember any of them. We’ll remember the feelings from spending special time with family members. We’ll remember a child who was born into this world to provide peace, hope, forgiveness and love for all of us. 

I want to know Christmas as I knew it years ago.

I want to feel Christmas like a child.

Top 10 phrases for Christmas season

In celebrating my first Christmas in retirement, I am sharing past columns I’ve written about Christmas. I call them the 12 columns of Christmas. The following was written for Dec.23, 2012.

It’s Christmastime. So, in honor of that, here is a list of Top 10 phrases about Christmas that we hear at this time of year:

10. Ten more shopping days till Christmas. For some people, it comes too soon. For others it won’t be over soon enough. The shopping season usually starts on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, and runs through Christmas eve. This year, it started on Thanksgiving day. If you’re counting, that’s 33 shopping days. 

9. After-Christmas sales. The second shopping season starts Dec. 26. 

8. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. It’s beautiful, but it can cause headaches for those who travel. 

7. Christmas spirit. Why can’t every day be Christmas? Because it wouldn’t make that day so special. But couldn’t we carry a little of that Christmas spirit for a few more days? 

6. Christmas parties. The reason for post-Christmas diets. 

5. Christmas cookies. A major contributor to number 6. 

4. Christmas carols. It’s nice when all generations can agree on music at least for a few days. 

3. Christmas decorations. The Christmas tree and star may be among our most-known symbols after the Easter cross. 

2. Let’s keep Christ in Christmas. Society has made an issue about turning the Christmas season into a generic holiday season so people aren’t offended. I haven’t heard any non- Christians complain when wished a Merry Christmas. How can anyone argue with the idea that Christ is the reason for the Christmas season? 

1. Merry Christmas.


Special Christmas memories never fade

In celebrating my first Christmas in retirement, I am sharing past columns I’ve written about Christmas. I call them the 12 columns of Christmas. The following was written for Dec.22, 2013.

For many of us, Christmas morning provides some of our most cherished family memories. 

Some of that is because of the special gifts we have received. More of it is because of the time we spend with family members and friends. That’s as it should be. 

I still can vividly remember the elaborate train yard from my childhood. Two 4x8-foot panels were laid side-by-side on short saw horses to form the platform for the display. The live Christmas tree was placed in the center, and the train yard with lighted buildings, trees, gravel roads and miniature people came to life. 

We didn’t always have a lot for Christmas, but we always had that memory. 

Despite the fact that my father was a newspaper photographer in those days, I don’t have boxes of photos from those Christmas mornings. I do have a cherished photo he took of me on the stairs prior to Christmas. It was for a photo feature he did one year for the newspaper about 60 years ago. Something about waiting for Santa. I recall another photo in the series of me explaining how Santa would come down the chimney in the fireplace, even though it was not a working fireplace. 

Many years later, my own son provided a special memory when he was about that same age. After opening a gift that was something he had really wanted, he jumped up and down yelling, “Thank you, Santa, thank you, Santa.” More than 25 years later, we still talk about that every Christmas. 

Much like the train yard, my wife and I started and tried to maintain our own family traditions. 

One was the cutting of a Christmas tree. It was not my favorite activity, but we would trudge through the fields of a local tree farm, with three young children, on the coldest day of the month, sometimes in snow, and look at every tree until we found the perfect one. Then I would have to cut it down and drag it back to the car, usually complaining the whole time. 

And that’s the way it went every year, until one year when we were in an especially long search for the perfect tree, with me complaining and my wife talking about how much fun we were having. That’s when our son asked, “Are we having fun yet?” 

Finally, I had an ally. 

He also was the one who eventually saved me from those tree hunts, because he developed a reaction to the fresh pine that triggered his asthma. 

So we then went in search of the perfect artificial tree. 

Our children also fondly remember each Christmas morning, when they had to wait at the top of the stairs while we went downstairs to make sure Santa had come. It all was a way to get the camera set up to capture the first mad dash for the presents. 

There are so many more special memories: the annual Christmas Eve candlelight church service, the caroling parties we hosted for friends, the disagreements over whether we should spend more (my wife) or less (me), the marathon gift-opening session devised by my wife in which we took turns opening gifts so everyone could see what others received, the marathon shopping trips to make sure each of the children had exactly the same number of gifts for the marathon opening session, the marathon wrapping session for all those gifts, and the 10-hour cookie baking day several weeks before Christmas. 

Perhaps our family’s favorite memory involves one Christmas morning with my mother. She may be the most giving and selfless person I know. She is one of those who truly would rather give gifts than receive them. 

About 10 years ago, my father, who is not the best of shoppers, wanted to get mom something she really wanted. So he asked her, and eventually, she described a certain type of robe. 

Not wanting to take a chance, he enlisted my wife to help him with the purchase, but somewhere the description or the translation was mixed up. 

Dad couldn’t wait for her to open the box. 

Her reaction: “That’s not what I wanted.” 

It was so unexpected, so out of character, that it was the most fun we had had in years. Mom laughed too, surprised herself at what she had said. And we have remembered and laughed about it every year since. 

One other special memory is renewed every year on the eve of the fifth day after Christmas. Our youngest daughter was born on Dec. 30, so every year on the 29th I announce that we have to run out and do last-minute shopping for her birthday presents because we were so busy with Christmas that we had forgotten. 

She knows better, but that announcement has become a special holiday tradition. It’s still fun. 

Much more fun than cutting down a Christmas tree. 

Elf on the Shelf another example of finding hope in imagination

In celebrating my first Christmas in retirement, I am sharing past columns I’ve written about Christmas. I call them the 12 columns of Christmas. The following was written for Dec.21, 2014.

There are few things more special and uplifting than the sense of wonder and excitement we see in the eyes of children. They enjoy the smallest and simplest things. They love what is imaginary. 

For me, their fascination translates into hope. 

That’s why so much of what is imaginary in our world is truly important. It exists in the form of Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny. 

More recently, there is The Elf on the Shelf. 

Our oldest daughter caught the Elf craze several years ago, and it has become a special part of the Christmas excitement for her family. For my wife and me, also. 

The Elf on the Shelf craze was started several years ago by Creatively Classic Activities and Books, an Atlanta company. According to its website, elfontheshelf.com: 

“The Elf on the Shelf ®: A Christmas Tradition” includes a special scout elf sent from the North Pole to help Santa Claus manage his naughty and nice lists. When a family adopts a scout elf and gives it a name, the scout elf receives its Christmas magic and can fly to the North Pole each night to tell Santa Claus about all of the day’s adventures. Each morning, the scout elf returns to its family and perches in a different place to watch the fun. Children love to wake up and race around the house looking for their scout elf each morning.” 

Of course it is a commercial venture because the small stuffed figure costs $29.95. In today’s market, that’s not outrageous. Our family certainly had more than that in enjoyment. 

The real fun is created by Santa’s other helpers, usually moms and dads. 

When the Christmas season begins sometime after Thanksgiving — some of us still believe that’s when it should start — the elf shows up in our daughter’s home. Her four children named him Pogo. They always come up with interesting names. They named their crayfish Harry Jr. the third. 

Every morning Pogo is found in a different place, usually in a specially created setting or having done something slightly mischievous or whimsical. Our grandchildren are excited to find Pogo and see what he did. Every day, we watch for the pictures posted on Facebook. 

Our daughter, who is a kindergarten teacher, actually has Pogo’s schedule planned out on an Elf calendar that begins on the Friday after Thanksgiving with an Elf breakfast. After that, every morning is a new adventure and a surprise until he returns to the North Pole on Christmas Eve. 

Pogo has made a snow angel in flour, taken a marshmallow bath in a bowl, had a snowball fight with other toys (cotton balls), taken down the kids’ stockings on the fireplace and replaced them with their underwear, drawn mustaches on family pictures and read a Christmas story to the stuffed animals. 

He has left letters, including one reminding the children to clean up the playroom or Santa was going to call him back to the North Pole. It worked. 

Our family has never emphasized the imaginary over the real reason for the season. Christmas is still about the birth of Christ, which is the greatest sign of hope this world has received. 

Pogo is just one more part of what makes this time of year special for children. Their excitement helps to make this time of year special for all of us. 

Merry Christmas.