The column that got away

This may be the most difficult column I’ve ever written. It’s the one I can’t remember.

The idea came to me a few months ago during a sleepless time in the middle of a night. At the time, it seemed to be such a good idea that I assumed I’d remember it in the morning. I didn’t. When I awoke, I recalled thinking about a column idea, but the subject was missing.

I thought it might come back at some time during the next day. It didn’t. 

Now that idea seems to be lost forever.

Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten why you went there? Have you ever seen a person and can’t remember who it is or why you know the person? Then you begin an intense thought process, and no matter how hard you try to remember, the answer doesn’t come. The harder you focus, the more frustrating it becomes. Sometimes you put that frustration aside in the belief that the answer will come back to you later. It may. Or it may not.

That’s the way it is when I get an idea for a column and fail to make notes when the thoughts are fresh.

Many ideas come to me late at night, early in the morning or in the middle of the night. Ironically, those last ones – which form when my mind starts to clear as I shed all of the distractions from the day – are the most difficult ones to remember when I fail to make some notes for the morning. 

That’s the reason I’m writing this one, which still doesn’t solve my frustration of recovering the one that got away. For several days, I tried to remember the idea that seemed so good during a sleepless hour. Now, it’s gone for good

When I started to write a weekly newspaper column 10 years ago, I developed a collection of ideas. Some of those I still keep in a file on my laptop.

When those ideas would come to me at various times during the day and night, I would write it into a document on my iPhone. Later, I would transfer it to a file on my laptop. As a result, I have at least 50 columns in various states of development.

Sometimes I will scan through those documents and may spend some time working on one or two. If the inspiration is right, I may finish one. If not, I file it away for another time. At least I have the idea.

Our memories are interesting.

I used to take pride in going to the grocery store and remembering what I needed to buy. As I’ve aged, that mental list is not as reliable. Sometimes I’ll know I’ve forgotten something, but I won’t remember it until I’m home.

It’s just as frustrating when you and your partner share a memory loss, such as the name of a person you once knew. At least you have someone to share your frustration. Sometimes you’re able to talk out what you do remember and eventually find an answer.

You know the information – what you’ve learned and what you’ve experienced – is stored somewhere in your brain, but it won’t always come to the surface.

So now you can share in my frustration of that lost column. Because I can’t remember it and therefore can’t write it, you’ll never read it, and you’re stuck with reading this one.

I do believe that the one that got away would have been much more interesting and entertaining. We’ll never know for sure.