In celebrating my first Christmas in retirement, I am sharing past columns I’ve written about Christmas. I call them the 12 columns of Christmas. The following was written for Dec.19, 2010.
The days and weeks leading up to Christmas Day can be a stressful season for us. We are usually short of time to get everything done and often short of cash to buy the gifts we want to give. As a result, our patience sometimes grows short, too.
It’s ironic, because at a time when we should be focusing on peace and joy, on family time and love, we sometimes are too tired, stressed, angry or disappointed to feel what the season is all about.
What does it matter if some things don’t get done or the perfect gifts aren’t bought? Too often the pressure of the season is created by our own desire to give people exactly what they want.
There’s no time more than at Christmas when the wanting is more noticeable. Children watch the onslaught of commercials and can be heard over and over again saying, “I want that.” Adults, too. There are shopping frenzies that begin at Thanksgiving. And every child is reminded to make a list, so we can make sure they get exactly what they want.
In recent years, I’ve come to the realization that gift lists are in conflict with the spirit of the season. We’ve lost the essence of what a gift really should be. My family does it, too, and with good intentions because we want to make others happy.
In spite of that, watch what happens the few days after Christmas, when the stores are busy with gift returns — and not just because things don’t fit. Many people find it safer sometimes to just give money, or take the person shopping and buy the gifts with them. Then they take those gifts home and wrap them so that person will be surprised when he or she opens them on Christmas morning.
A gift shouldn’t be about what someone wants to get, but about what someone wants to give. It’s about the thought that goes into giving something that you want a friend, relative or even a stranger to receive.
Why should anyone ever be disappointed with a gift? It’s not something that’s owed or earned. It’s something that is supposed to be a product of caring, concern and love. The real essence of the gift isn’t the physical object; it’s in the act of giving.
By this time next week, the excitement will be over. The gifts will be open, the colorful paper scattered around the room. Some may be very happy, others disappointed. Most of us will be tired.
For the children among us, those early morning hours — when the gifts are opened — are the best time of Christmas.
But in a broader sense, the excitement of that Christmas morning has three distinct and special parts:
There is the anticipation — the time before the gift is opened. The time when we don’t yet know what it will be or what it will really mean to us.
Then there is the experience — when the gift is unwrapped and we react to it.
And finally, there is the memory — not only of that special moment, but of each moment when we hold that gift and recall what it means and who gave it to us.
When you think about it, isn’t that what the first Christmas gift was really about?
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