There's still something special about baseball

(This was written in 2009 and was one of my first Editor’s Notebook columns. It remains among my favorites.)

The game was almost over. The only reason we were still there after seven innings was the fireworks that were coming at the end. There’s only so much baseball a 4-year-old can handle, even with ice cream, cotton candy and funnel cakes. But we had made it and were waiting for the lights to go out and for the real show to begin.
The players for the visiting Harrisburg Senators were congratulating each other for an impressive 11-0 win over our Reading Phillies at FirstEnergy Stadium and were walking off the field. 

One of the players in catchers gear walked toward the box seats on the third base side, next to the visitors’ dugout. He reached out his mitt toward a little girl, and she took the ball in both hands. 

For her grandfather her face lit up the nighttime sky. 

My faith in baseball has been weakened in recent years. Friday night, it got a boost.

There’s a reason it’s called America’s pastime. It’s America’s game, a real field of dreams. It’s exciting and relaxing, all in one package. It’s a time for fathers and sons — or grandfathers and granddaughters — to talk and share and cheer and laugh. 

But throughout its history, baseball has been damaged from within: the Black Sox scandal of 1919, the Pete Rose suspension for betting on games, strikes, steroids and more recently bad language shouted at a victory celebration. 

For a brief moment last Friday night, all that didn’t matter. 

I don’t even know his name. Don’t know if he is a good player who will become a star or someone who is just hanging on and chasing an impossible dream. Don’t know if he respects the history of the game or not. But on this night, a minor league catcher made a little girl and her grandfather smile. 

It happened so quickly that I didn’t have a chance to thank him. To be honest, I was so captured by the expression on her face that he slipped away before I knew who he was. 

But what happened that night is a large part of what baseball is all about — fun and children and going home with a baseball. 

For any player who doesn’t understand that, it’s an assault on the game itself. Like it or not, these players are role models. They have a responsibility. And for those who are talented enough and lucky enough to move from this Double A level to the big show, that responsibility doesn’t stay behind. Millions of dollars in salaries and bonuses don’t change that. 

Too often, we all get caught up in those millions that players are paid. A baseball costs around $10, so the monetary value of what happened that Friday night wasn’t significant. 

But, you see, it’s not about the baseball; it’s the memory. 

And on this night, an unnamed young man hit a home run without swinging a bat. 

From a 4-year-old little girl and her grandfather: Thank you.

Forgiveness sets us free

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. Not just for the forgiven. It means freedom for the forgiver. It brings peace. It helps us to see things around us in a new light that is not shaded by anger.

All of that is something most of us know, but it’s something that too often most of us forget or ignore.

So we carry around the burden of offenses and mistreatment. We vow to never give in. 

It happens with co-workers, it happens with friends, and it even happens with family members. They may be people we love, but we allow our pride and stubbornness to destroy relationships.

Forgiveness is hard. When we are hurt, we don’t want to risk being hurt again. Instead, in reality, we choose to hurt ourselves.

There have been times during my life when I’ve had trouble forgiving. 

I know someone who treated me very badly. He stabbed me in the back at every opportunity. He undermined me. He tried to make me fail. My response was to ignore him as much as possible. Wasn’t that better than treating him the same way he treated me? Wasn’t it better to stay as far away as possible?

But that didn’t free me from the anger and hurt that I felt.

Not too long ago, he came to me and apologized. In what I thought at the time was a weak moment, I let my disdain for him slip away and we talked. That weak moment turned out to be a wise decision. I felt the weight of my negative feelings for him fading.

We may never be close friends, but we no longer are enemies. That feels good.

For anyone who believes there is a situation where forgiveness is impossible, I assure you there is hope. 

When people mistreat us, we often react with anger or hurt. We may grow silent. We take some comfort in anticipating how good it will be when they get what they deserve and feel the pain and suffering that should result from their actions. We want to bask in that justice and look forward to their punishment.

That, however, places the burden from the wrongdoing on ourselves. And that burden grows heavier until we stop carrying it with us.

The Bible says a lot about forgiveness, and not just the most important forgiveness, which comes from God.

Jesus told us: “Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” (Luke 17:4)

For most of us, that is easier said than done. Our anger, pride and pain become roadblocks to the peace we all seek. 

If you are carrying such a burden, let it go. If you know someone who carries those burdens, be there for them. Encourage them to forgive, but do it in a non-preaching way. Be kind to them. Perhaps, then, they will understand why they need to show kindness to others.

Lost moments in relationships will never be recovered. Every one of them is precious. Don’t waste them.

Reach out and forgive today. You will be amazed at the burden that is lifted.

Retirement provides a new perspective

It’s a strange feeling. One day much of your world centers on your job, and the next day that focus is gone. One day you are spending one-third of your weekday waking hours with a group of people, and the next you walk away and will never see some of them again.

One day you live with stress that is sometimes overwhelming, and the next you notice that the sun is shining, and you realize that you still know how to smile.

Work shouldn’t be negative, but too often it is. And too often it is because we and the people we work for and with make it that way.

It’s mostly because of the way we treat each other. If only there were more respect for others. If only we could show our appreciation more frequently. If only we could spend more of our energy working together than we do working against each other. In those ways, work isn’t unlike families, friendships, sports teams and everything else in our lives. It all comes down to how we treat people.

Sometimes the solution is setting a good example and hoping that even a few people see it and follow it. Each of us can play a part in improving the atmosphere in the workplace, but the real solution starts at the top. If those in charge don’t respect, appreciate and trust their employees, things will never be good. Being positive is not just a phrase – it has to be a way of life, beyond using words such as teamwork.

Admittedly, it can be very challenging. At times it may seem almost impossible. It’s difficult to stay positive if you spend too much time in a negative environment.

Looking back – and now from out of the working world – it’s easier to see how I and many others could do more to make work a more positive experience for others than we do when we are so focused on just getting the work done. I have a clearer picture now and can offer that perspective to others who still can make a difference.

Tell employees and co-workers that you appreciate and value them.

Treat everyone in the workplace with the respect you desire.

Learn to listen instead of talking all of the time.

Make others feel they are part of the process and not just a mindless cog. Accept, acknowledge and take seriously thoughts and ideas that are different than your own.

Communicate.

Care about others, especially when there are difficult circumstances in their lives.

The best managers, I believe, are those who raise up themselves by raising up those around them.

Of course, there may be some circumstances that can’t be fixed. In some cases, the solution may be to let go of the things that overburden us and move on.

Michael Card, a contemporary Christian music singer, wrote a song about what is important in life. It’s called “Things we leave behind” and tells the story of the disciples who were called by Jesus to share in his ministry. Some of them had very important jobs at that time – fishing – but when Jesus approached them, they dropped their nets, let their boats drift away and followed him:

“When we say ‘no’ to the things of the world we open our hearts to the love of the Lord, and it’s hard to imagine the freedom we find from the things we leave behind.”

(Link to “Things we leave behind”:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzlZ4QXMMBw)

That freedom may come in a new challenge, a new circumstance or a new environment. Perhaps a new perspective. For many of us, that may not come until retirement.

I loved most parts of my job, and I was fortunate that part of my job evolved into sharing positive messages through my writing. That’s the part I want to carry forward into my next assignment.

I used to think that when I reached retirement age it would mean my life is nearing an end. I’ve since discovered that there is so much of life to experience and enjoy in retirement. There may be less time ahead, but there is more quality time. I no longer have to be distracted by the politics and games that can be so much part of workplaces. Those issues consumed way too much of my working and non-working time. So, in essence I have more time now. More time to live. More time to serve. More time to share.

Retirement is a strange feeling. I’ve learned quickly that it’s also a very good one.

The Editor's Notebook is returning

     It has been six months since I retired, and I still am hearing from people who say they miss my column. After I wrote my last Editor's Notebook column for the Reading Eagle in March, I told people I was thinking about continuing to write and distribute it on my own. I know what I wrote helped a lot of people. It also helped me.
     It's been a good break, but it's time for me to start writing again. I have been collecting ideas and expect to start to post columns for free soon. I likely will share a mixture of new columns and favorite old ones.
     I had hoped to send these columns by email, but I've run into some complications with that because of the large number of email addresses on the list. So, for now, I will be posting them on a new blog and on at least two Facebook pages. Please bookmark the blog and like and/or follow the Facebook pages. And feel free to share them with friends. If email is your only online connection, let me know.

Watch for the columns at this location:
https://retirededitorsnotebook.blogspot.com

And on these Facebook pages:
https://www.facebook.com/oldnewsman/

https://www.facebook.com/Reading-Eagle-Editor-Harry-Deitz-…/

Peace and blessings,
Harry