Out of the mouths of babes ...

Looking back at some of the columns I've written about my family brings cherished memories to me. Here's a special one from 2015.

Kids say the darnedest things. For those old enough to remember, Art Linkletter proved that in a feature by that name on his radio and then television show, “Art Linkletter’s House Party,” which aired in the 1940s, ’50s and ’60s. He would interview a panel of young children, ask them questions and let them talk.

Things haven’t changed. Only, now for me, grandchildren say the darnedest things.

When I was a young child, my mother kept what we called a baby book on each of her children. It was a collection of milestones, such as first food, word, steps and lost tooth. It included names of other family members and photos of early birthdays. There was a record of special words and phrases, too.

I don’t believe as many young parents do that these days. But they do record their children’s early years through Facebook, where their lives and milestones are shared in real time with family and friends.

It’s different, but no less special.

For the past 10 years, we have enjoyed not only the daily photos and accomplishments of our grandchildren, but also some of the humorous comments they make, which, thanks to smartphones, are documented before they are forgotten.

I’m sure you have a collection of your own. Here are some of my favorites from my granddaughters and grandsons.

•••

Daughter, after listening to grandson (age 3) talk for an hour: You talk a lot.

Grandson: Yeah, I have a lot of words.

•••

Granddaughter (5): Papa, when I grow up I’m going to be a mommy.

Me: That’s nice. How many children are you going to have?

Granddaughter: Whatever God gives me.

Me: (speechless).

•••

Me: We need to clean up this place and keep it neat.

Granddaughter (6): I’m an artist, and artists are messy.

•••

 I was sitting next to my 6-year-old granddaughter and doing some work on my iPad when she wanted to be held: “Papa, is there a password for this arm?” And before I could recover from that one: “Papa, is there a password to turn off your computer?” Obviously there was, and she found it.

•••

Daughter: No, you can’t do that. It’s for grown-ups.

Granddaughter (3): Not Daddy?

•••

Granddaughter (6) was staying with us for several weeks during the summer. As we were taking her to stay with her other grandparents for a few days:

Me: Now remember to listen and use your manners.

Granddaughter: Why?

•••

We stopped to eat at a restaurant, and there was a little boy crying.

Me: That sounds like your brother.

Granddaughter (6): No, he cries bigger than that.

•••

Conversation in a store:

Granddaughter (6): Papa, will you buy that for me?

Me: We can’t get it today.

She looks up with sad brown eyes and sticks out her lower lip.

Me: That won’t work.

Granddaughter: It always did before.

•••

Granddaughter (6): Mommy, I hope I don’t lose my sweet tooth … because if I do, everything I eat will taste like ketchup, and I don’t like ketchup.

•••

Granddaughter (6), while watching football: I don’t want to root for the team with zero points … so I’ll pick the one with more.

•••

Daughter: You have to listen when Mommy tells you to do something.

Granddaughter (3), wearing a Little Mermaid costume: I’m a princess.

Daughter: Well, even princesses have to listen to the queen … and I’m the queen.

•••

Granddaughter (age 7): Papa, daddy has a hundred dollar bill.

Me: Wow, he must be rich.

Granddaughter: He hides it from mommy because she likes to spend.

•••

Daughter: Grandson (5) is now wearing his hockey helmet and walking around banging his head on various things to see if it hurts. Seriously. Boys.

•••

Daughter: You know it’s a good birthday when the new 7-year-old whispers as you tuck him into bed, “This was the best day ever.”

•••

Son: You need to eat your dinner.

Grandson (2): No, no, nope.

Son: Wrong answer. You need to eat.

Grandson: Well, that’s not going to happen.

•••

Granddaughter (5): I can’t sleep because my hair hurts … this one right here.

Daughter starts laughing, and granddaughter turns and walks quietly back to bed.

•••

Daughter-in-law: I just told you I didn’t want you opening up that drawer. That is a no-no.

Grandson (3) Mommy, that’s a yes-yes.

•••

Daughter: Stop whining.

Granddaughter (6): I can’t. That’s how God made me.

•••

Grandson (8): I don’t like giraffes. Want to know why?

Daughter: Sure.

Grandson: Because they pick their noses with their tongues. That’s gross!

•••

Daughter: I can’t wait for you to go to bed.

Granddaughter (6): I can’t wait for me to go to bed too.

•••

Grandson opening a present on his eighth birthday: I wanted this. What is it?

•••

Son: I don’t know the answer to this trivia question (reads question and possible answers out loud).

Grandson: Ummm … Daddy, I’m only 3.

Cleaning out is hard to do

As we grow older, many of us don’t look forward to the day when it’s time to clean out our household. During a lifetime, we collect a lot of things. So, even though we know that day eventually will come, we put it off. Occasionally we reorganize and toss a few things in a gesture to make us feel we’re making some progress. But we avoid the big purge.

It’s hard to get rid of our lifetime treasures, even though much of what we keep is stuff that we don’t use, don’t need and probably never will again.

I have been forced to sort through a lifetime of things lately because I will be selling my house. Very soon, I hope.

Our homes house a lot of memories, but for many of us things are different from a generation or two ago when people were born and lived most of their life in a family house. Now, we move many times, sometimes great distances. We have to take those memories with us when we move, along with many boxes of things we’ve collected through the years.

I’ve cleaned out before – every time I’ve moved – but I didn’t get rid of nearly enough. Each time I wondered why I moved so much from one attic storage area to another.

Several years after my wife died, I remarried, and having two houses doesn’t make sense. Neither does keeping two of everything. So we’ve been shedding almost an entire household.

The problem I’ve faced is what to do with family treasures and heirlooms. Even when no one in the family wants them, it’s difficult to dispose of them.

What will I do with my grandmother’s 16-by-22-inch framed graduation diploma from 1909?

How can I part with my children’s grade-school artwork?

What about pieces of furniture that were passed down through generations?

And then there are special baby clothes, including my own christening outfit. What should I do with them?

Many things have gone to my children. They would have gotten them anyway, eventually. They’re just getting them early, but they don’t have room for everything, and they’re better than I was at saying no. Even if they take things, eventually they will face the same dilemma I’m in now.

Family pictures are among the most difficult to sort through. They bring back so many memories, but there is only so much wall space. For now, many of them are packed in boxes and perhaps will remain there for my children to determine their fate after I’m gone.

I’m not the only one in my family facing this point in life. Every time I visit my parents – who are 91 and 89 – they want to know what I want from their house. They, too, want to clean out. 

This process is a reminder of the conclusion I reached many years ago – we have too much stuff. Even now, as I look around our house, I see so many things that hold special memories for me, but they will be of little interest and have limited attachment for anyone else someday.

Such as my collection of old cameras, many of which I’ve used. Or my display of hiking figures that remind me of special days and nights I spent on the Appalachian Trail. Or the shelves filled with books that I’ve read or still look forward to reading.

What will happen to them? Should it matter if no one wants them?

During our lifetimes, we put so much value on all of those things. They are important, but only for the memories they bring to us. Those memories are what last forever, long after the things we treasure have broken, faded or been lost.

I have to continue reminding myself of that as I finish this difficult task.

Life isn’t about all of those things. It’s about all of the people who were here to share them.