Why is the writing on the wall?

Graffiti on a wall in Athens. (I hope the words are not offensive.)

The train rolled steadily along the tracks through the rural community. Behind the three engines was a stream of rust-colored box cars so similar it might have been difficult to distinguish one from another. 

Except for the bold, colorful markings. Each one was uniquely adorned with a series of fat, round letters presenting a message, some clearly understandable, others in some type of code.

Those messages were part of a larger story: graffiti.

Each of us has his own opinions and tastes, and that variety makes the world interesting. I agree with the often-quoted and unsourced phrase “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” and the similar assessment by author E. A. Bucchianeri, who wrote, “Art is in the eye of the beholder, and everyone will have their own interpretation.” 

But why do some people believe that the world is their canvas? Why do they think it’s OK to deface property that is not their own?

Photo of Graffiti in Athens, taken through a bus window.

A year ago I was surprised to see extensive graffiti when I visited Athens in Greece. In a country that has the remains of some of the most iconic and beautiful ancient structures in the world, including the Parthenon, many of the modern buildings in that capital city are defaced by graffiti.

I’m not the first to address it.

“From stunning murals to streets covered with personalised tags, there’s hardly a corner left untouched by a spray can,” wrote Chantal Da Silva in the story “Graffiti city: The rise of street art in Athens” for the website independent.co.ukin late 2017.

“But it isn’t just the walls: vans, street signs, benches, dumpsters, bustling restaurants and cafes – even the ancient rocks surrounding the Acropolis are plastered in paint.

“Street artist and tour guide Nikolas Tongas, known locally as ‘Rude,’ says that while the graffiti scene in Athens started in the late Eighties, the art form has become a way to express widespread unrest following the economic debt crisis Greece suffered in the aftermath of the 2008 global financial crash.”

Some people today believe they have an important message in the form of an opinion to share with the world, and they believe they have a right to post that message anywhere.

That doesn’t justify it.

The term graffiti comes from the Italian word graffio, meaning scratch, according to Britannica.com.

Some of the earliest forms of graffiti can be traced to cave men, many thousands of years ago, who decorated their walls. Other forms of graffiti have been found on the walls of ancient Rome and on walls in the recovered ruins of Pompeii.

Modern graffiti started to spread and grow in popularity in the early 1970s, mainly in New York and Philadelphia.

“Since its explosion onto city walls and subway cars in the 1970s, the increasing popularity of graffiti as an art form has won commercial success for its artists and a regular presence in pop culture and the contemporary art world,” according to a 2011 story by  PBS, about the book “The History of American Graffiti”by Roger Gastman and Caleb Neelon.

“For ‘The History of American Graffiti,’ they tracked down thousands of photographs, from freight trains to city streets, and conducted hundreds of interviews with graffiti artists, ranging from pioneers to the biggest stars.

“The first modern graffiti writer is widely considered to be Cornbread, a high school student from Philadelphia, who in 1967 started tagging city walls to get the attention of a girl.”

Here are some of the interesting things I learned in my research to understand graffiti:

Writing on walls has been an obsession of people for years, including obscene messages and images on public bathroom walls.

Some graffiti is known to be tied to street gangs to mark territory.

Others mark abandoned roads – Graffiti highways –such as the one that runs through Centralia in the southern part of Columbia County, where an underground mine fire has led to a nearly deserted town.

They call them graffiti artists, and there is a talent to create those colorful messages and images. Painters are sometimes referred to as writers. Many of them call what they do “graf.”

The term was used in the title of the popular film “American Graffiti” in 1973 by George Lucas about teenagers in the early 1960s, even though the movie wasn’t about graffiti.

When do the graffitiers do their work? It seems to pop up out of nowhere. You would think more of them would be arrested for defacing others’ property, but they’ve learned to work under the cover of darkness.

Not all public wall painting is a form of vandalism. Some of it is done legally, allowed by property owners or commissioned by public officials to brighten a dull or blighted area. Those also have a wide range of attractiveness and sophistication. They can add class to a neighborhood, or they can increase the trashy appearance.

A preferred type of street art in Venice.

I prefer a different form of street art, which I saw during a trip to Venice, where artists painted scenes on their own small canvas on an easel.

In some ways the growth in popularity of tattoos has been similar to graffiti. I have seen few tattoos that I consider beautiful or even remotely attractive. Most of them are green. Many of them are smudgy or so overwhelming that they look like a glob of dirt on the skin. But – and this is the important point – it’s their body. If they choose to deface it, that’s not my business.

Public graffiti is another issue. If you don’t own the canvas or have permission to use someone else’s, keep the cap on your can of spray paint.

Let's eulogize people while they're living

I wrote this column more than five years ago. It remains one of the most important things I’ve written, and it seems an appropriate subject for the Memorial Day weekend.

Almost everyone finds time for a funeral. We change our schedules, we return early from vacations and we travel despite bad weather. And why shouldn’t we? It’s the last time to get together with others and show respect, appreciation and love for someone who is no longer physically part of our lives. 

Our lives that are so busy. In fact, too busy. Too often we don’t have time for the most important things – people – until their time has been taken away. 

If that’s you, you’re like most of us. It doesn’t have to be that way, because in many cases we make those choices. We set our priorities, and then later we live in a present that all too often is filled with disappointment when we think about the past. 

When it’s too late, we are overwhelmed by sadness, regrets and guilt. 

Instead of waiting for a person to die so we can pay our last respects at a memorial service, we should have celebration of life parties. 

Maybe at 60. Maybe at some unusual birthday, such as 72. Even better, on no significant day at all. No presents. Just comments and memories. Just people. 

We should let people know how much they mean to us instead of waiting to tell others how much that person meant. 

Have you ever just stopped to see someone or called just to say, “I was thinking about you today and wanted to spend some time together”? No appointment, no agenda, just reaching out because you care.

We should send flowers while people are here to see and smell them. When we get together, they should be times filled with laughter, rather than waiting for times marked by tears. 

We should tell people why they are important and the impact they have had on us and others.

One of the most powerful quotes I’ve ever read was from Dr. Stephen Levine, who is a well-known speaker and writer about death: “If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?”

Why are we waiting?

Why are we waiting?

It deserves to be repeated many times, because even though it sounds inspiring, too often we put those thoughts and actions aside because there are so many other things that are more important. 

Such as ... .

And ... .

I’m still trying to come up with the first item for that list of more important things.

Life doesn’t stop, but what will it take to make us pause for a few minutes and connect with people who are special in our life while they still are here? 

How many of us have lost a loved one and then wished and prayed for one more day, hour or even minute with that person? One more brief conversation, smile or hug. 

I have. Even though I have countless memories of the time we spent together, it wasn’t enough. Mostly, I wish I could touch them and tell them one more time how much they mean to me. 

All of this can’t take away the pain we feel when we lose someone special in our life. But it has to make that loss far more comforting by knowing that they knew how we felt because we showed them and told them. 

And maybe – just maybe – it will strengthen our bonds of love while we are together. 

Let’s not live with regrets. Take the time now. 

So why are you still reading this? Pick up your phone and call someone. Reach out and touch someone. Do it now, while they’re still here to hear you. 

I’m certain you will make time for that person’s funeral.

Make time for that person’s life. 

4 questions to define you

Who you are and what you accomplish can best be summarized by the answers to four questions:

What do you want in your life?

What do you need in your life?

What do you value in your life?

What will you do with your life?

Your answers will define you. They will shape your life, regardless of where you are in that journey.

What do you want in your life?

Everyone has goals and desires. Some of us want things that are extravagant. Others have simpler objectives. Many times we think about material things, such as cars, clothes and houses, but the things we want also can include living in comfort, success in careers and activities, solid relationships and even lack of stress.

It often comes down to priorities, which is where the second question becomes important.

What do you need in your life?

Happiness isn’t always about getting what we want. Often it’s about distinguishing between those wants and which of them we really need. Some people have trouble seeing the difference because their wants are so strong. There is nothing wrong with wanting things. There is nothing wrong with enjoying material things, except when you can’t afford them or when your wants undermine or get in the way of what you need and how you can help others.

If you look at each of those desires realistically and objectively, how many do you really need?

To know the answer to that, consider the third question.

What do you value in your life?

When your life is near its end, what will have mattered most? If we put our wants ahead of our needs, we fail to take into account their real value.

So often the defining factor in life is in our relationships. It’s the things we do for others. It’s the time we give to those closest to us. It’s how we treat and care for others in the world. It’s family, it’s friends and it’s faith. Those are the things that can determine which of our wants and even our needs are most valuable in our life.

The answers to those first three questions should make it obvious how to answer the fourth and final one.

What will you do with your life? Most times it’s a question only you can answer. Many times it’s a direction you can set.

Four simple questions. If you are honest with yourself, then the things you really should want, need and value will determine what you do. At the same time, what you do will provide all that you want, need and value.

You not only will find happiness, but so will those around you.

If only it could be that simple. The truth is, it is.

This day belongs to my mother

I wrote this column for Mother’s Day seven years ago. This year my mom is marking her 67^thMother’s Day.

There were many other things I could have written about today, but none more important.

It’s Mother’s Day, and if you don’t take the time to visit, call, write or remember your mother, shame on you.

So this column is in honor of all mothers, but especially my own. This year is a special one, because it’s the 60th time she has celebrated this day. 

Unfortunately, there are some people in this world who have had a bad relationship with their mother, or no relationship at all. For them, I hope they at least had a motherly figure to whom they could relate. 

I am fortunate, because I have a mother who not only cares about me but always has been and continues to be a major, positive influence on me. 

So here are some special thoughts about the best mother who has ever walked on Earth – something you may dispute but won’t change. 

Mom was a stay-at-home wife and mother. Not because she had to be, but because that was important to her and my father. It wasn’t easy financially – and many times we all went without things – but it was worth it. She always was there for our family. And she could stretch a budget further than anyone I’ve ever known. 

She was a great teacher, whom I never wanted to disappoint. I learned more from her than from all my years of school. And not just the basics of life. She taught me good values, faith and the importance of family, including building strong relationships with grandparents. Through her I learned, and eventually practiced, patience, compassion, sacrifice, charity and forgiveness. 

Mom is the one who always bakes the birthday cakes and has spent countless hours quilting a special blanket for the wedding of each grandchild. When we were young, she would treat our cuts and scrapes and wipe our tears. She would cheer us when we were sad and hold us when we were lonely. Whenever we needed her, she would drop whatever she was doing and give us her attention. She seldom asked for anything for herself. 

In fact, she is nearly perfect in my mind, but she did have a few flaws. 

She turned me against mashed potatoes. We had them at almost every evening meal because my father liked them, so it was many years after I left home until I would eat them again. 

To this day I can’t eat or even
tolerate the smell of red beets.
Mom, in one of her rare stubborn
moments, decided I needed to stay at the table until I learned to eat vegetables, which were not among my favorite foods. We both learned something when I got sick that day many years ago. She never forced me to eat something I hated again, and I never again ate red beets. 

In reality, Mom never had a favorite child, but it didn’t seem that way growing up. For years, we have teased my parents that my sister, the middle child, was the favorite. My brother, the youngest, always seemed to get away with things. When I complained, they said, “He’s only little.” 

So I came to refer to them as “the favorite” and “only little.” 

My designation came from the times I would ask why my little brother could get away with things and I couldn’t. “You’re old enough to know better,” they explained. 

She did save me on more than one occasion when I would get into trouble. She would warn, “Wait until your father gets home,” but she seldom shared the bad reports of the day. 

The most special times were at night, when my mother always had time to read to us. They were good stories and would take our minds off the monsters hiding under the bed. They were fun things, such as the poem “Somebody Did” by James W. Foley about a little boy who would get into trouble or break things and then go running to his mother to tell her what somebody had done. We never grew tired of hearing that one. 

Those stories relaxed us and helped us to fall asleep. In fact, to this day, I can’t read a story to my grandchildren without yawning incessantly. 

All of those good memories – and there are so many more – grew out of her immeasurable love for us, and I hope we continue to add to them. 

What child hasn’t asked why there’s a Mother’s Day and Father’s Day but no Children’s Day and been told, “Every day is Children’s Day”? 

For me, that has been true. Mom has made sure of it for 60 years. 

Some ads don't add up

Commercials and advertisements are necessary parts of our enjoyment of entertainment and our consumption of news. Without ads, what we pay for those things would be much more expensive.

I accept that, but I wish those who create commercials were held to a higher standard. Take the Geico insurance ads. Please! Take them somewhere so I don’t have to watch them again. I have no idea how good Geico coverage is, because I wouldn’t do business with a company that pays an advertising agency to create messages that are so ridiculous.

There have been a lot of stupid ads throughout the history of television. Think of the V-8 ads in which someone, real or animated, slaps himself or someone else in the head when he realizes he could have had a V-8 instead of some other drink. The worst of those was when the baby hits his mother when she hands him a bottle. I don’t have to worry about supporting that company because I don’t like vegetable juice.

Geico tops V-8 when it comes to being ridiculous. If I were to compile a list of the 10 dumbest TV ads, Geico might have all 10 spots. At least nine.

I understand that the idea is to get you to remember them. Perhaps they have succeeded with that. But they are so ridiculous, that I would never use their product. Whatever they pay for those foolish ads could be applied to reducing the cost for coverage.

Recently they added insult to annoyance by launching a new ad asking people to vote for their favorite Geico commercial. Seriously?

Geico’s basic message, “Fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance,” is a compelling point. And while I don’t like the animated Geico gecko, it is better than Aflac’s duck or the new Liberty emu. Geico carried its message to a silly extreme, and some of those other companies followed along like lemmings. Maybe that should be the next mascot.

Among Geico’s least offensive ads are “Insurance so simple even a cave man can do it” and the talking camel quizzing office workers to see if they know it’s hump day.

I picture a bunch of young ad agency people sitting around competing to see who can come up with the silliest idea, which results in well drillers who hit the mother lode of ice cream, a couple talking to a lobster hiding in a hot tub, Maxwell the pig riding in a car and crying “wee wee wee” all the way home, a talking pot hole, two squirrels who conspire to cause an accident. a barbershop quartet playing basketball, a hypnotist conning people into doing work around his house and a message that the Great Wall of China wasn’t always so great.

There must be hundreds of them, which means Geico spends an enormous amount of money to create and air them. 

When I started driving at 16, I was insured by Erie, because that’s the company my parents used. Now, more than 50 years later, I’m still with Erie, mainly because the company provides good coverage at a fair price. The best part is, I haven’t seen the company waste money on silly ads that I would be helping to fund.

In fact, I had to Google “Erie Insurance Commercials” to find one. What I found, from late last year, was this message: “You don't need funny commercials to sell insurance. You just need really good insurance. Find your Erie Insurance agent today!”

The commercial has a man (and you don’t see his face) showing a series of papers with a simple message:

“This isn’t funny

“unlike other insurance commercials.

“They spend millions to make you laugh.

“But if you need seriously good insurance ...

“for your car …

“your home …

“your business …

“your life …

“This could be

“Your favorite commercial EVER

“Erie Insurance

“Seriously good insurance”

You can watch the commercial here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bqLRWMGGj4

That works for me. Seriously.

There have been some great commercials during the history of television, such as Coca-Cola’s Mean Joe Greene from 1979, Life cereal’s Mikey from 1971, McDonald’s basketball showdown between Larry Bird and Michael Jordan in 1993 and the Budweiser Clydesdales at Christmas in the 1980s and talking frogs in 1995.

There are thousands more.

For some people, TV commercials provide time to grab a snack or use the bathroom during a show or game. Except during the Super Bowl, when the commercials get almost as much attention as the game does.

The least these ad agencies could do is make the commercials intelligent and classy. I really appreciate commercials that are clever or interesting or entertaining, but too many of them leave me shaking my head in disbelief that a company would pay money for such silly ways to share its message.

For me, some of those ads simply don’t add up.